Obviously, babies are made the way babies are made, and I won't get into a thorough discussion about it, since I was never really certain when my precious little Princess was actually created, but nevertheless, sometime at the end of June, I discovered I was pregnant.
It happened at Alice Fazooli's, a restaurant we had never gone to before but always wanted to, and we sat on the patio and ordered a bucket of Coronita's. The food was good, the sun was hot, and J and I were carrying on like usual: jokes, kissing, and laughing loud enough to make the tables around us look at us weird. It was then that J said that my boobs looked so huge lately, I shrugged and blamed it on PMS - I was waiting for my period and I felt bloated all over. He then told me that he had a dream that I was pregnant, and that he had noticed a glow lately. I told him to shut up. On the way home we purchased a pregnancy test, and I totally had the feeling that it would come up negative, and that my period would show up a day later, as it always happens - it's a conspiracy to purchase expensive pregnancy tests, I tell ya!
Well, the joke was on me, since it gave me a positive. I immediately sent J to the drug store for two more tests, for two different pregnancy test brands. Positive, positive.
My first reaction to pregnancy was probably not the "desired" one. I'm not going to lie, I was very, very upset. Crying. Terrified. I don't know why, but I was definitely not the 21-year-old jumping for joy at the aspect of being pregnant. This reaction lasted a couple of days, but I most definitely got over it and continued to start the whole pregnancy thing with a thirst for motherly knowledge, doing right by my growing little babyface inside of me, and being very confused on what I was supposed to do/should do. Le sigh, first time motherhood.
Not long after, I went through it all - every part of pregnancy in all its glory. Morning sickness, afternoon sickness, nighttime sickness, long and brutal migraines that lasted for days, pregnancy pops, heartburn, maternity jeans, feet getting fat, finally getting flats about 6 months into my pregnancy - I refused to ever wear flats because I thought they were ugly, I finally gave in when my feet hurt too much and also exploded - what to expect when you're expecting, boobs enormous, succumbing to H&M maternity and Old Navy maternity wear when I absolutely had to, baby shower, gaining 50 pounds, having the best doctor who said I was okay to gain 50 pounds because I'm apparently tall, watching baby tv (tlc in the afternoon is all baby shows), and scaring myself with labour stories.
I somehow convinced myself that when the baby actually popped out that it may actually pop out in a poof of fairy dust and I it would hurt like a little pinch and I would let out a shriek and there would be no blood/poop/yucky stuff coming out of me or stretching me out. TMI, I know...
Princess' due date was on February 13th, 2006, and we all were hoping she would be a day late and be a Valentine's Day baby! Well, my little Princess is a feisty one, known for not really listening to her mom, and having a stubborn-yet-strong mindset of her own.
She came one month early.
On Friday the 13th of January, 2006.
WHO does that? Who chooses their birthday to be on the freakiest day of the year. Surprise, mom, get used to it! You're in for a lifetime of surprises now!
On the Thursday night before she was born, (this is a little tmi, so if you're squirmy, get a move on) I was getting some discharge. Browny, almost bloody, but very little stuff. I told J and he said not to worry, and of course, I worry, so I picked up my books, went online, and discovered that this could be my "bloody show". I was right, because by midnight there was a lot of it, so I called the hospital and they told me to come in right away. My tummy was also hurting a little at this point, so I forced J to get up, who just wanted to sleep btw, but drove me over and we waited to see what would happen.
Let me tell you, I was afraid. They changed me into a hospital gown, and I was bleeding a lot, and no one was telling me anything except that the baby might be coming. To a first time mother, that's terrifying to not know anything what's going on. All I knew was that I was bleeding a lot, my tummy was hurting a lot (which I think was a combo of pain and contractions), and J was terrified too. He didn't think the baby was coming at this point and was sure they might just send us home.
Afterwards I found out that my placenta abrupted. This isn't too common, and usually occurs when it runs in the family and other things that I didn't do and didn't happen to me. My only fear is that I went bowling a few days before that and I was worried that it may have caused it. My doctor assured me it wasn't the bowling and there's no way of knowing what happened, but I always think about that.
My water broke around 3 or 4 am, which was a good sign, they preferred it to break naturally rather than the nurse/doctor having to do it. I was also freaking out from the pain, it hurt SO FREAKING MUCH. I remember asking a cute older nurse, "Is it supposed to hurt this much?" She asked me, "Is this your first?" I nodded yes. She told me not too worry, that it's what happens. And she also promised to run me a bath but that indeed never happened. LOL, the things we remember...
I received an epidural not too long after my water breaking because I was such a wimp. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed, J standing in front of me and we were holding hands while the doctor put the needle in my back. I remember I squeezed J's hands so hard it hurt him, my veins were popping in my arms, and J said he didn't know how I could have handled that since it was so scary looking. After that, my happy-dural officially kicked in and I was in la la land (does every doc call it a happy-dural? i think so!), the one annoying thing was that the nurse would continually have to check on progress of the baby between my legs, and they would prop my legs up, but I had no feeling in them, I couldn't hold them up, so my legs would keep falling and getting in the way, and they would look at me. And I'd have to apologize and tell them that I couldn't do anything because of the meds. Really, I just wanted to kick them, but again, the meds!
They kept checking on me, and I think there was little progress all morning, and I remember getting really thirsty. A nurse was supposed to be getting me something but never returned, so J ventured out in the hospital to get me something to drink - anything! I was dying. And it was at that point that suddenly something happened.
Machines were beeping, nurses were running in doing things, and they told me the baby had wrapped herself with the umbilical cord and we'd have to go get a c-section right now. J was out getting me water, I don't know what happened, but I couldn't really breath. My throat was SO dry, and I was begging for anyone to get me anything, ICE, anything! I was on the operating table and the doctor told me they couldn't give me anything, no ice, no water, and I yelled at him but nothing. I kept asking them where J was, I was screaming that someone had to go get him, but nothing. I am used to getting my way, lol, so I yelled again and nothing.
I assume they were starting the c-section, but I literally saw nothing and felt nothing. And they wouldn't let J in the room. To this day I'm not sure why they told him this, but they said that the baby and myself might not make it. He was terrified (as I am writing his emotions for him, I assume this was the case), but before they pulled her out he was next to me, to the right of my head. I admit I was a little out of it, I don't remember what we said or if we said anything, but I knew he was there next to me, and that was enough to calm me.
Suddenly, at 8:01 am, little Princess was born, I didn't see her, but I heard her little cry. And suddenly she was to the left of me on a little bed, screaming with this long tongue of hers, spiky black hair that made her look like Rod Stewart, and she was perfect. Not long after, J had her in his arms, to the left of me, she was bundled up in a blanket and he was holding her, and I remember we thought she was perfect. She was so beautiful, with these long lashes, she was absolutely perfect.
J is the father of a beautiful Princess, who still surprises us everyday, and he truly is the best father one could ask for.
Happy Father's Day to all the Daddy's out there!
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