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How to keep your little ones STILL while you get a haircut!


My husband told me the funniest story that made me pee in my pants- literally. In fact, every time I think of it, I crack myself up even when all alone like some kind of deranged lunatic from a horror flick. So you know it must be good!

Thankfully my man is so skilled with the gesturing, facial expressions, body language and in transmitting the overall visual image, that I feel like I was actually there and am able to “see” what he saw.

Sunday he decided to take the boys, ages 3 and 5 with him for haircuts. Sounds innocent enough and certainly an appropriate ritualistic primal “bonding event” for a father to experience with his two “Mini-Me” male counterparts.

Here’s how it went down-

First the boys are sat down in neighboring stations and worked on simultaneously as my husband supervises the “scissor-happy” hair technicians (is that the PC term these days, help me keep up, would ya?) Anyway, after they are both finished and all excited about their new “dos,” they embark on a journey to ransack the shelves overflowing with sweet-smelling hair and body products.

My husband struggles to regain control of their wandering, curious, and destructive little hands as he also must get a haircut himself and will be “restrained” by the scissor-hands for about 30 minutes. What to do?

Finally one of the stylists brilliantly suggests a novel idea- to put them under the big dryers, side by side, in a last ditch effort to keep them still. So they do it.

Well, lo and behold, hubby tells me they sat there the entire time, motionless like a pair of frozen statues anesthetized by the repetitive sound of the engine, mesmerized by the warm air massaging their scalps and necks and were in fact, drooling.

When it was time to go, Papa had to physically remove these two zombies from the machines as they actually communed on some sort of metaphysical level with “great-grandma’s favorite salon ally” and did not want it to end.

Upon disembarking, all eyes were on these two oblivious little helmet-headed men whose heads now resembled lingering nuclear mushroom clouds. Of course, they had no idea. They were in a stupor after that euphoric experience and were unaware that they evoked fond memories from the movie, Dumb and Dumber.

I promise you that for 2 days following, even after washing and drying, their heads still maintained the bee-hive shape like a pair of old blue-haired condominium card playing partners. My gorgeous boys looked like 2 old ladies!

Hey, you know me by now. I think this is the start of a new trend and was the most insightful and creative idea I’ve heard in a while for taming little wild ones.

What do you think?

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