Going to Ulta with your husband is never a good idea.
They just don't understand.
They just don't get it.
"$19.99 for hairspray? Can't you find something cheaper?"
"No. I need this one."
I'm typically the "buy it and don't tell," type. But we live far away from stores big city folk take for granted. So on this particular night the opportunity became available for me to pick up some much needed essentials. One problem, I was on a date with my love.
Ulta is right next door to a bike store. I thought, perfect, he can keep himself occupied with lots of things with wheels and he won't be lurking behind me as I look at all the awesome new products I just might need!
I was in the hairspray isle and I heard it. "Linsey." What?! How could he be done that quickly? I thought I at least had twenty minutes. My basket isn't even that full yet. "Hi, babe, what happened, I thought you were checking out the bike store?"
"Yup, I pretty much saw what they had to offer."
Great, now I found myself shopping for overpriced hair essentials with my bald (by choice) husband.
I was still good though, he was looking around and wasn't paying attention to the prices below the products... yet. I was doing my best to just move it along and not really bring up conversation about the task that was at hand. "So what was your favorite bike over there? What were you thinking for dinner? You look really handsome tonight!" I would of rather been self-absorbed with all the glorious concoctions in front of me and daydream of how they are going to make me look gorgeous, but now my priority in my present situation had changed. Distract the husband was on the forefront of my mind.
Then I felt something change. His patience started to get the best of him. I'm sure his growling stomach wasn't helping the situation. He started to notice his surroundings in greater detail. I was seeing him start to stare at price tags. Oh goodness! Then I heard him from the next isle over, "What!? $64.99 for a curling iron?"
I stayed quiet. I didn't point out that, in fact, it wasn't a curling iron, and it actually was top of the line. I held back the need to correct him for the sake of keeping my secret, a secret. I also made sure the rest of my treasures where covering up that same
curling iron waver he had noticed, so it wasn't obvious that it was in my basket.
Now he was curious. Now he wanted to know what I was buying. And now I knew it was time to go.
What was I going to do with him at checkout?
He's too involved, he's too curious, I made a big mistake in taking as long as I did and letting his patience get the best of him. Now the cat was out of the bag.
He had huge smirk on his face and he wasn't going to leave my side without seeing exactly what I was buying and how much I was spending. When he heard the total, he just laughed. He quietly turned around all dramatic like and let out the biggest noiseless laugh I have ever seen.
"What is in that stuff that you would pay $33 for jar of it, whale tusks?"
I then unveiled to him the reality of the situation. "I've been doing this for years honey, I've just never taken you along."
"You can never get mad at me again for buying books."