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I Could Use A Reality Check - Topic: Positive vs Negative Thinking

I'm bringing this question to my virtual audience because I'm trying not to get my lunch friends all riled up!

History: I broke my leg on Memorial Day and was just released by the Dr last week. He said to keep babying it some until it stops hurting; maybe another month of support when driving or on longer walks.

I think of myself as a very optimistic and positive person, stopping just short of "Pollyanna". I think that my healing during these past few months was helped by my positive "can-do" spirit.

That "can-do" spirit is a practiced, difficult option sometimes and that's what I want to ask you about.

Last week, just hours after the Dr released me from my cast, I went to a meeting that I've missed for months because of travel and my injury. It was wonderful to see several dozen people happy to see me (if approaching with a big hug is any indicator).

One "friend" who has riled me in the past pulled me aside to say that my leg was actually never going to stop hurting. "They don't tell you that, but it's never going to be right again", she said. I smiled and nodded and moved on, but I keep running that conversation back through again, trying to put it to rest.

My determination to heal is affected by her comment. What if it never stops hurting?

Then, I stop and consider the source and toss her remarks where they belong. In the trash. But what if she's right?

Reality Check Question: When you have negative news for someone, do you always deliver it? Do you stop to consider that they might not want to know the worst case scenario? In other words, should my sweet friend have kept her helpful mouth shut?

I look forward to your comments. I feel like such a you-know-what even dumping this trivial thing out here in public, but I can't seem to put it away until I compare notes with others.  Thanks!

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Comment by Judi Moore on September 10, 2012 at 9:56am

Just a small update. It's been almost a month now and when my leg hurts, it surprises me. That tells me I must be going longer stretches without. It makes a huge difference in your outlook on life when you're not in pain and worried about being independent.

Life is good!

Comment by Judi Moore on August 14, 2012 at 8:03pm

Excellent points. Every one of them!  Thank you!

Comment by Emily Bonilla on August 14, 2012 at 6:20pm

Just to chime in here to help you out.  Several things:

1. She probably thought she was being helpful.  Truly.

2. We all say things we probably shouldn't sometimes.  Some things are better left unsaid.

3. It may or may not hurt forever.  No one can really tell.

4. So what if it does hurt forever.  You just get used to the pain and move on.  I have had back pain since a car accident several years ago and it never stopped me from living or being happy or even doing adventurous activities.  I never really think about it because I am used to it.

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