Please excuse Deb's less-than-prolific (and kind of sucky) posting as of late.
As this writer's physician, I also pronounce that this letter does not violate blogging commandment number 3, as there is a legitimate medical reason behind her lack of inspiring prose (and ability to wash the kitchen floor). In particular, Ms. NoReturnMom's iron level is staggeringly low. How low? Well, an adult female should expect to see an iron count around 100, in order for her blood to adequately deliver oxygen throughout the body.
Your miracle blogger has been walking around with an iron level of 8. No, I'm not missing a digit.
Although the patient has not reported the physical fatigue one would expect with this level of deficiency, as a mother of two toddlers, she's accepted being flat-out exhausted 99% of the time as a way of life. But it's impossible not to notice the recent decline in @noreturnmom's creativity and wit.
Rest assured, Spawnocalypse and its author will be stronger than ever after several weeks of iron supplementation. In the meantime, it's in the patient's best interest that you stick with her and muddle through whatever drivel she's calling a post these days. If you really want to help her recovery, I strongly urge you to become a follower or fan of Spawnocalypse on Facebook.
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation in facilitating Deb's return to awesomeness.
Dr. Trust Me, This Is What a Real Physician Would Say