Today I told my daughter a horrible lie. She was sitting on her bed and examining her thighs. She stated matter-of-factly that she wished that her thigh was skinnier and the same size as the other. "Actually I want my thighs to match and be skinny like my friends."

I swallowed back a huge lump in my throat and convincingly lied to her. I said,"Sweetie, don't worry, your leg is swollen right now from the surgery. The swelling will go back down and everything will be fine. Now go get dressed."

She hopped off her bed and gingerly slid on her brother's boxer shorts and then her sweat pants and went to wash up.

I kept my face hidden in the closet, hiding my tears, pretending to straighten out clothes haphazardly strewn on hangers. I know fully well that she will never have evenly sized thighs; I know that she will never have matching skinny thighs like her friends; I know that she will suffer from pain (physical and emotional). I know that I just told my child a bold flat-out lie. And I feel terrible about that.

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Tags: lies, shame


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