That's right folks. I'm a great big hypocrite. I have been so absorbed in my life and my worries over the last few years that I have forgotten about others. One of my posts from earlier talked about a friend who wasn't there for me when she said she would be. It hurt me, but I realized today that I have not been an emotional support to others much either.
I had a friend in college, Amy. She was a beautiful girl, but struggled with her self esteem. It hurt me to watch her in her struggle, but I had no clue how to help. I was young and immature.
I should have just given Amy a hug and told her how amazing she was. I didn't let her know that our friendship was what was important to me. Only one time was I there for her when she needed, and that was only because someone had to call and tell me she needed me.
I got a call from our cheerleading coach in the middle of the night. Amy was threatening to kill herself. I had someone get Beth, and I ran to Amy's room. She was standing in the middle of her tiny room sobbing with two opened pill bottles in her hand. She was defeated and broken; this was not the party girl I knew. This was the real Amy. The one I'm sure I knew was there, but chose to ignore. The one I was too busy for. I did the only thing I knew how to do. I held her. I was there in time to get her help, but I had ignored Amy far too much in the past to help our friendship. This is something I regret to this day.
Amy left college in the middle of our sophomore year, and I haven't talked to her since. I have her on my Facebook, and I see glimpses of her life now. A life that is hard. Amy married a soldier. She had a beautiful little girl this year, and her husband deployed shortly after birth. I have commented a few times on how cute her daughter is or that I hope her husband gets home safe, but other than that I have been absent.
I know I can't go to her house and help her with her daughter. She lives too far away, and my kiddos would make me less of a help and more of a burdon. What I can do and should have done was offer her kind words from a real friend. More than a simple public comment; I should have messages her, found her number and called her. I should have at least let her know that she was in my prayers, and that I think she is an amazing woman and mom.
I knew her husband was deployed. She was raising her daughter alone, but I again chose to ignore that she may need words of support. While she was possibly struggling with so many of the things an Army wife must deal with I was only worried about myself. I was posting about someone bailing out on my birthday when I have bailed out on Amy twice now and probably more than that. For this I am sorry, and I am a hypocrite.
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