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In (his) sickness and in (her) health

My husband and I have been together for a long time. I like that about us. I like having this mental database on him - things he likes, things he doesn't like, shared memories and even memories that he thinks are his but are really mine. I even like it when I learn something new about him, because it is usually such a wonderful surprise. (Seriously, honey? You like Indian food? When did that happen?)

The latest surprise? His good health may prevent conflict in our relationship.

You see, the good folks at the Journal of Marriage and Family have been studying long-term couples and have found that if the husband has a good attitude and is in good health, then there will be less conflict in the marriage. A woman's health, however, has little to no effect on the amount of conflict in the relationship.

The couples in the study had all been with their spouses for around 30+ years, so my husband and I have a long way to go. But I found it interesting that the researchers identified "marital conflict" as getting on each others nerves. Which, after that many years of marriage, is probably understandable.

This is just another reason why I think parents need to have a hobby away from their spouse before their children leave the nest. If you have something else to focus on other than your spouse, it is easier to let the little things go.

In the meantime, I will just be thankful for my husband's good health - both for his sake and the sake of our marriage.

What about your spouse still surprises you?

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Comment by Lauren Markman on April 3, 2014 at 9:45pm

My husband also loves to fish, and I am thankful that he likes to do it without me. The fact that we have separate interests in addition to the stuff we have in common makes our conversations more rewarding to me. I am always learning something from him.

Comment by Marcia Fowler on April 3, 2014 at 8:43pm

That he has taken up fishing. He's a guy who's done an ironman and many half irons. He's active. Yet he now loves night time fishing in a kayak. And he's convincing others to join him!

I agree with the study about spouse's health. When he's sick, he can be fairly annoying.

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