I listened to a radio show this past weekend where the topic of discussion was Marriage vs. Cohabitation and which was better. Many reasons, from not wanting the state to be involved in a relationship to cohabitation was a sin was raised and debated as to the various reasons for why one way was preferred over the other.

While I’m not here to judge, as a mom, I do not favor cohabitation especially where kids are involved. As someone who’s raising 3 boys, it’s imperative that they know you can’t just live with someone and have kids with them and never marry them. As men, I need them to lead by example and to give their children the legal benefit of being recognized as a family unit and all the legal rights that attach to it. They also need to know that spending their life with someone is serious business and that when couples live together as husband and wife that they should be husband and wife.

I acknowledge that as a society, we’ve started to lessen the value that marriage plays in our lives. We no longer see it as central to the family structure, and this has led to an enormous break down in the family unit which we must correct. So if you’re someone who’s cohabitating, consider the message you maybe sending to your children. They, after all, learn from our example.

What do you think? Do you think that marriage is no longer valued in our society or that parents who have children shouldn’t cohabitate?

You can follow my blog posts at http://mothertoson.blogspot.com

Views: 2

Tags: cohabitation, kids, marriage

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Comment by Kim Crouch on February 18, 2010 at 7:00am
Jacqui thanks. I agree with you. I feel like we don't try as hard as we should anymore and I think our kids suffer. No one believes in sacrifice anymore it seems other than people competing in the Olympics! LOL There is so much stress with life today but you know I believe we do make it complicated. Many people work to live but a lot more work to acquire things or to pay for the things they want to acquire, technology which is good is constantly keeping us plugged in so we have to decide at some point to simplify our lives and say it's ok to live with less stuff.
Comment by Jacqui Taub on February 18, 2010 at 5:26am
Hi Kim!
I hope I'm not doubling up - I did answer you but think I lost it. My opinion is that our children and grandchildren today are exposed, before they can barely think for themselves, to billboard tv ads and movies, promoting that if you buy their products, you'll be this wonderful, georgous, handsome, sexually attractive individual!
Firstly, I agree with your theory on the sanctity of marriage. I feel we need to work harder on giving our children the tools they need, from a very early age, to help them learn how to feel great about themselves as individuals. In turn, this hopefully will help them to be more discerning and understand that a relationship within a good marriage, has to be earned. It just doesn't happen from, shall we say, 'testing the waters'. Self-confidence, being in touch with who we are, helps us to grow into being able to cope with the reality of life, and it's often difficult burdens. As parents and grandparents, sometimes it's easier to take the easy way out. Let the kids watch tv, it shuts them up - we just can't do the extra battle because we're so stressed out with life's pressures.
Been there! Done that, so - am not one to judge. But I am definitely one to attempt to educate our littlies and continue as they get older. Start young. And hopefully, if we can find the time to be with them, educate them and love them, we will give them the tools to really know who they are and what they want. And we can only pray that they make the healthy choices and learn to differentiate between the need for immediate gratification, fear of losing a relationship because they didn't say 'yes' and being totally confident that their decision to sit back and wait to be acknowledged by a like-minded, hopefully marriage partner, will bring them the contentment a marriage can bring. And yes, we have to teach them that marriage is very hard work. Every single day. There's no magical formula. I was once told by a very wise person: "You work 110%". If we all do that .... It took me many years of tough learning, to understand what they meant.

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