I am a highly social person.  I love people, I love talking, I can be long winded (all my friends say, "Nah!  Not YOU!").

 

Hello, my name is Miss Sanguine.

 

Now to be sure, I am one of those unique people with a split personality.  I am also Miss Melancholy and can be as much introverted as extroverted.  But, I think my Sanguine-self is stronger than my Melancholy self.

 

But homemaking duties and motherhood have somewhat limited how much time I actually get to spend hanging out with friends.

 

Not that I don't love homemaking - being a wife and mother were two of the greatest earthly ambitions I ever had in life and I love both.  I love it that I am a work-at-home mom.  I am so grateful that I am not forced to divide my time between the workplace and home.  I know how blessed I am and I very grateful!  However, I do find myself longing for adult conversation with a girlfriend about "girly" stuff.

 

Enter Facebook.

 

Now, my husband will be the first to say that he is totally anti-Facebook.  He teases me about Facebook all the time.  He doesn't mind that I'm on Facebook - he just doesn't get all the hoopla about it.  He is also a pretty social person - albeit not quite as social as me.  But he prefers face-to-face relationships.  He hates email, he is not terribly fond of text-messaging, and seriously dislikes the fact that friends in the same town or church - or worse - family members in the same household "Facebook" rather than actually talking with each other.  And I do agree (although I am guilty of that sometimes!).

 

When we first got married we had dial-up Internet.  And we were charged based on the amount of time we were online and by the amount of mega-bytes we downloaded.  To say that this was expensive (not to mention slow!) is an understatement.  This pretty much limited the amount of time we were online and so it wasn't an issue at all.

 

And then we got DSL.

 

Enter Facebook. Enter blogging.  Enter YouTube.  Enter eBay and Amazon.  Enter hours and hours of unlimited Internet with unlimited MB to download.

 

And it became a major distraction in our marriage.

 

My highly social self went into overdrive.

 

I had a world of information at my fingertips with just a few keystrokes, and for this girl who used to sit and read the Encyclopedia Britanica by the hours, I was crazy with happiness.

 

And I had to quickly learn that there are two people in my life that are far more important than anyone else in the world, and they need me.  Not the me that has my face buried in a screen, but a me that gives them my undivided attention.

 

So, if some of you wonder why my Skype is turned off 95% of the time, why my cell is often turned off, why I am never, ever, ever of Facebook chat, or why I sometimes take several days/weeks to get back to emails - in other words, why I am not accessible 24/7, its because I have realized that family is my #1 priority.  And that to have a healthy family, one must have a healthy marriage.  Healthy marriages grow when quality time is spent together - when the computer is turned off, the TV is turned off, the cells are turned off, and no distractions are allowed to come in.

 

When I learned to turn off all these potential distractions, it significantly lowered the stress in our home.  I schedule work time (and stick to my schedule pretty rigidly), I schedule Skype chats, when my husband is home the cell phone is turned off, and even schedule times when shut off the computer entirely. It has brought a new peace and joy into our home, because being together means being together only with one another - not together with the rest of the cyber-world.

 

Have you had to struggle with media taking over your marriage?  If so, join us on Media Mondays.



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