This was my opening statement to my husband the other day ...

Or at least I am thinking about it ...(this comment gets a slight eyebrow rise from my husband)

Are you already having one?

No – but I really think I am going to. Are you okay with that?

Sure – hand me that diaper please...... Male or female
( his interest is peaked)

Definitely – male (and just like that the interest is gone )

In that case it should probably be someone I don’t know

Good Point – It could be awkward if it is someone we both know.....

He kisses the baby ..

Do what you got to do.. just keep me posted.

And with this statement he kisses me , hands me the baby and walks out the room.

In case you are wondering why I am contemplating an affair. It is not because my husband isn’t wonderful, he is most of the time. It's not because I need more attention, I don’t.

I’m contemplating an affair because married sex is great, but married sex with young children – thus far is not.

Seriously- it’s basically delayed gratification, forced quickies and scheduled interludes.

All the spontaneity is gone… the sex is reduced to its lowest dominator. Basically “ you good.. me too … good night” .

Don’t get me wrong we continue to try the spontaneity thing –

Recently my husband came upstairs - requesting some attention. As you can probably tell – I am not the “I have a headache” kind of gal – so if it is offered I‘m willing 9 times out of 10. A trait that my husband appreciates.

Anyway, I do a mental calculation – oldest is napping, the youngest almost finish nursing. She should fall asleep if I put her in her crib. Sure why not.

Now when it comes to sex. I can usually get off the starting line pretty quickly. However , even I need some time to switch from mommy mode to wife mode. Unfortunately, by the time I was invited to this race my husband was half way …(still not sure what he was doing downstairs). Needless to say he crossed the finish line before me.

To be fair... he did offer to run again , but by this time my youngest was up again. Back to mommy mode.

So.. as I'm nursing my child once again… I start to think. Maybe it would be easier to have sex outside my marriage. No children to worry about, change of scenery, something new.

And then reality hits – wait a minute isn’t the definition of an affair - delayed gratification, stolen moments and planned encounters .

Well hell, I already have that and my husband changes diapers.

The upside - they won’t be small children forever and we do have something scheduled for Sunday morning … I guess I can wait…

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Comment by josiebrown on January 22, 2010 at 5:06am
Great post! Shows first hand that passionate monogamy is VERY important in keeping a relationship stoked. If you have a relative or friend you trust with the kids for babysitting -- even for a few hours -- then have your affair: with your husband. Rent a room (Priceline it at 1/3 of the price) bring chocolates, wine, candles, and massage oils, whatever. You two love and are attracted to each other. Sex is addictive -- and can be so, again, with him. I'm just sayin'...
Comment by Nacia Karim Walsh on January 18, 2010 at 10:01pm
Wow you are preaching to the choir. My husband used to say my youngest son hand an alarm that went off every time my husband would lay a hand on me. Now we just wait until both kids are in bed. Problem with that is case in point, it is now 10pm and my hubby is snoring next to me. Damn kids need to go to bed earlier. Thanks for the post!

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