Judging Mama- When she's behaving badly I'm the one crying

http://littlelovestories.com/archives/1035

esterday Sunshine and I joined a group of friends (some old and some new) at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum! A favorite stop for anyone in our area it’s packed with awesome activities for the little ones, including a water feature, balls, sand box, puppet show center, theater, soft room, and doll houses. VISIT THEIR SITE HERE!

This trip was more fun for Sunny then usual, because of course, now Sunny can walk and is trying to run. She was chasing behind “big boys” and of course one boy in particular named Marco- she has a thing for Hispanic 3 year olds I can’t explain it but my kid has a “type”- anyway we had a fantastic time. Except for that one moment when I almost started to cry during lunch.

Sunny can eat- you all know that- but once she was finished with our group lunch yesterday she threw her hands up in the air and was ready to get down from her high chair- the other babies and Mama’s were not finished though and so when I put little miss sunshine down on the ground she took off. She walked up and down the hallway- turning the corner and saying Bye-Bye. I’m yelling ( over one of the new friends head) COME HERE! NO! STOP! and then sharing a quick “Sorry” to the group of Mom’s whose children were sitting so nicely enjoying their lunch.

I took Sunny into the bathroom for a diaper change  and that’s when I felt my eyes well up with tears. Its very hard to explain but from the second you bring your new baby home you want everyone ( particularly family and friends) to think that your baby is “good”. I remember her being hours old and me saying to my Mom, “She’s really a good baby. She never cries! She’s so good!” even though I had no proof of that, she was literally 3 hours old. Even now I’ll report back to her, “Oh, she was such a good girl! So verbal and kind! She  just loves SO and SO and loves SUCH and SUCH!” It’s disturbing, I’ll give you that. Maybe more so when my tears yesterday were literally based on the fact that these new friends would think that my baby was wild and crazy- she was actually kind of “bad” during that lunch.

In her defense she was exhausted and it was nap time and she pushed through.

After emerging from the restroom I spotted Jill who I confessed to. She replied in perfect Jill style saying “Not to worry I know Sunny well and I know shes nice girl.”  Her simple reassurance was all I needed to move on with our day.

Once lunch as over, Sunny returned to her happy “good” self. She chased little Fia around, played with some “big kids” and enjoyed the remainder of her day at the museum.

We’ve entered a new phase; with walking comes freedom. I’ve told you all before how she’ll leave me places saying bye-bye, retrieving her gear and walking away from me often. She is extremely independent and is no longer satisfied by shinny objects and baby talk. At 14 months old she says OK, a lot. She ask me Why, often. She seems to realize that this big big world, is meant to be explored. I’m very very grateful for this child of mine.

And just for the sake of comparison here’s Sunny at 4 months!

I have to confess when I look at her 14 month photos she looks exactly like her Father. It’s her smile I think- I’m searching but I just don’t see me in her features….personality though- she’s got my eye rolling down!

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Tags: Mommy, anxiety, badly, behaving, child, in, judging, mothers, public

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