For many years, Logan has been afraid of the water, well, afraid of drowning. And he would run down the scientific list of why he will drown. Yesterday, he started swim lessons and to say that I was beaming with pride is an understatement. I wanted to stand up and pom-pom cheer, do the running man, raise the roof…you get the idea. After I pushed back the potential of embarrassing my child in to the awkward teenage black abyss, I snapped a picture of my uber dope twelve year old becoming more and more comfortable in the water. He listened very carefully to his instructor, who by the way is stellar, and focused on each direction she gave. Every time he went under water, popped back up, he looked my direction for a thumbs up, which I threw up enthusiastically.
Uh oh, the moment came when my emotions pushed up my throat; my attempt to swallow them back down was futile. My inner pep talk wasn't working. And before I knew it tears of absolute joy raced down my cheeks. Watching my son conquer his ultimate fear was amazing. He left his comfort zone the second he stepped in to that poor without his life jacket, he let his body take control and stopped over thinking. He told his fear to go take a hike!
Fear is something that we create. It inhibits us, controls us and constrains us. Once you overcome your anxiety, you begin to question why you were afraid in the first place. I always hated it when people would say to me or to Logan “Oh, swimming is easy, just do it.” Yeah, to most it is but to Logan, it scared him to death. We would try with him every year but he wasn't ready and we respected that. As he is maturing, so is his self-confidence which is astonishing to see. I am privileged to witness this transformation on a daily basis, another perk of homeschooling.
I was a texting fool at the aquatic center. I sent out the picture of Logan swimming, slapped it on Instagram and facebook, and made it abundantly clear that I was one proud mama. An elderly man came over and said “We could be looking at a future Olympian.” I nodded in agreement because you just never know.
Logan never ceases to amaze me. He fights with every inch of his soul. He plows through the trepidation and comes out triumphant. From the moment he took his first breath in this world he has clashed and battled. One of Logan’s favorite Bible verses is:
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6
He’s been saying this verse since he was five years old. And no matter what he is going through, that is what he will tell me. Logan inspires me daily. His innocence and purity give me hope for this world and for our future.
I am sure I will blubbery it out on Thursday and when the day comes and he swims an entire lap on his own I may just bust out the running man and raise the roof. I may jump up and down hysterical and then jump in the pool with them. I may hug him until he can barely breathe and tell him every thirty-seconds how proud I am of him, oh wait, I did the last two yesterday and finally after the 200th “I’m so proud of you” he said “Mom, I know.”
Maybe he is the next Phelps? Maybe he is the next Joel Osteen but for right now, he’s my awesome twelve year old son who is conquering the world around him, one pool at a time.