I haven't written in awhile. Been in a bit of a funk. This whole not being on medication thing is starting to come crashing down. I've been debating on self-medicating. If I didn't hate being hungover or have severe heartburn issues, I would totally become an alcoholic. Well, OK... probably not. The one thing I have always prided myself on was not self-medicating. Yes, I went through my pot smoking adolescent phase and became a serious drinker when I was 18. But, I never got "addicted." In all honesty, it made me feel worse. The beginning I loved getting drunk. I hugged everybody, danced for hours, and always had people to party with. Then you know every good thing must come to an end. I was over it. I get bored easy! I got sick of waking up every morning and stepping over bodies passed out on the floors of mine and Nick's first house. Life goes on.
Now that my little trip down alcohol memory lane is through. Back to my lack of medication. My ups are so up my downs so down. I have seriously no idea what person is going to open their eyes in the morning. Bitchy Kaiti, Sweet Kaiti, Angry Kaiti, Crying Kaiti, Kaiti ready to face the day, Kaiti ready to crawl under a rock and die. It's sooooooo agonizing. The worse part is, I can wake up completely Sweet Kaiti, then by 9 AM I am totally Crying Kaiti. Ugh.. It's exhausting! My weekends are much worse because I allow myself to feel more because I know Nick can care for Mason. During the day on weekdays I am totally in "Mom-Kaiti Mode." Which is a miracle. I just don't know how much longer I can hold myself together. See how exhausting this is?! I am exhausted just typing it out!
Now for some more entertainment! Mason's first Birthday party went wonderful and here are some pics! Enjoy my sweet little man.
GO TO MY BLOG @ Blissfully Bipolar Mommy TO CHECK OUT PICS OF MY LIL' MAN AND FOLLOW ME!