Had arranged to go and see a friend's new baby today. Got there and she wasn't in. Hmm. Second time in two weeks she's cancelled our arrangements. Maybe it's...me? Ha! No. Don't be daft. I'm such fun, easy going, non judgemental company - that can't possibly be the case. She's probably kicking herself. Bet my mobile's been ringing OFF THE HOOK with...oh, no, no missed calls. She's probably too busy crying. It's okay Jen, don't worry about it, honestly. So I invested in petrol I can't afford to sit in a sweltering hot car with a tiny baby to drive twenty five miles to see you on one of the very last days of my rapidly dwindling maternity leave while accompanied by a melted box of choccies for you. But really, don't worry about it. I'll just eat the chocs, spread malicious rumours about you and never speak to you again. It's fine.

So. The weather's beautiful, and we're in the middle of Wilmslow. What are we going to do with the day? Having irritatingly left my invite for cocktails at Coleen Rooney's pad pinned to our cork noticeboard, I rummaged through the outer corners of my brain for what there was to do for free out here in Leafy Cheshire. I drove around a bit, then I drove around alot. Turns out 'free' + 'Leafy Cheshire' are not bezzie mates. Ooh I know. Cash, pretension, good schools...what's missing? A National Trust building.

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Tags: baby, funny, humor, mom

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