I am the queen of dominating a conversation, especially ones I wasn't involved in to begin with.  Having trouble coming up with ways to bring your child into a otherwise lame conversation is a toughie though, here are some surefire ways to get the ball rolling.

1.  "Oh I hear you're discussing how you finally finished your master's degree?  That's awesome but hey, I created life, here are some pictures.  I bet they're a lot cuter than your thesis."

2.  "Wow, your parakeet died?  That's so sad honey, speaking of sad though I was looking over pictures of my toddler today and he is just growing SO FAST."

3.  "57 pounds?!  Good for you!  Speaking of weight, would you like to know what percentile my son is in for his age?  I even have pictures to prove it."

4.  "You got that promotion huh?  How rewarding, kind of like when my son went poo poo in the toilet the other day!  Here's a picture, isn't he talented??"

5.  "That sermon you gave was so moving, I think my son is one Popsicle melting away from his own sermons, that's right!  He's said a complete sentence.  Would you like to hear the audio on my phone?"

And by far the most popular...

6.  "Is that your baby??  She is so cute!  But wait until you see MY kid, now HE'S a looker!"

(One thing though, while EVERYONE, obviously, wants to hear about your child NOT everyone wants to hear about your child's poop so make sure you evaluate the audience carefully.  Just a little helpful, hard learned lesson from me to you).

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