Parenting is not an easy job and when the father is out of the equation, balancing work, personal time and kids can become an impossible mission. Without a doubt, being a single mom takes a lot of time, patience and skill, all of which might seem impossible to acquire when you first find yourself in the position of a single mom. However, being in control and being a good parent is possible, even when you’re alone. These are some tips that can help you out.
You may be a single mom, but you are not alone. According to recent census, in 2016 there were three times more families supported by single moms than in the 1960 – 10 millions, to be more precise. Also, almost 50% of American babies are born by single moms. Although divorce remains the primary reason for this, more and more young women choose to have babies out of wedlock and raise them themselves because they consider marriage an outdated institution. What these figures show is that there are many more single moms out there just as you, going through the same struggles, experiencing the same questions and insecurities, but they make ends meet. Being a single mom can feel like a social stigma if you don’t anyone else in this situation and you don’t have a role model to look up to, so try to surround yourself with friends who know exactly what you are going through. Now more than ever, it’s easier to find likeminded souls, especially in the blogging community. Look for blogs ran by moms such as yourself and not only will you get advice from people who actually know what you’re going through, but also share your own stories and become part of a supportive community.
Financial concerns are among the biggest worries of single moms and this is perfectly normal. If you cannot count on dad’s alimony, then you will have to earn for two. Unfortunately, not all jobs pay well and offer you enough free time to spend with your children. If you are happy with your current salary, but it’s the working hours that worry you, then don’t be afraid to request a change. If neither the salary nor the schedule works for you, then don’t be afraid to make a change in your career. Teaching, sales, freelance writing and web development, real estate, these are some of the best jobs for single moms.
Once you’ve been single for a while, the question “Should I meet someone?” will probably pop into your head. The thing is that only you know the answer to that question. Ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship. Is it because you strive for romantic love? Because you need someone to help you look after the kids? Or because you would like some extra income for the family. It’s very important to be honest with yourself and a potential partner. If you aren’t sure what you want, talking to a friend, psychologist or even an Indian astrologer in Sydney to clear all doubt. Use whatever means you are comfortable with to discover yourself and explore your problems.
Being a single mom makes you a busy person, but amidst all the hustle and bustle you shouldn’t forget to take some quality time off for yourself. It doesn’t have to be for too long or too far away from home. You don’t need to push yourself to go on dates or on night outs with your girlfriends if you’re too tired, but at least try to spend at least a few minutes focusing on what you like, not on the kids. Whether it’s meditating, reading a book, catching up on your favorite TV show or just doing your evening skincare routine, the things you like can really lift your mood and recharge your batteries.
One huge mistake that single moms make is that they tend to treat the father’s behavior as their own responsibility, when it’s not. If you are divorced and your ex-spouse fails to be around for your kids’ important moments, that is not your problem to fix. You should not try to force a connection where it can’t be made, because it will affect you as a parent. Instead, try to be the best parent you can be, without comparing yourself.