A good marriage has the husband as the servant leader.
In looking further in Ephesians, we see what Paul says when he addresses the men:
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave His life up for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s Word…Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-26, 28, NLT)
Paul says that a husband’s relationship with his wife should mirror that of Christ and the church. Let me ask you, what did Jesus do for the church? I’ll give you a hint: it involves a cross, a crown of thorns, and a lot of mocking.
Paul is not saying here that you physically need to give your life up for your wife. (Although I hope and pray that you will never really be faced with that, but you never know.) What I believe this passage is referring to is the type of life you need to give up for your wife. The life you need to give up is the “I’m going to do what I want to do, when I want to do it” life. Some men try to illustrate that they are the king of their castle by ignoring the wants and needs of others and just doing what they think they should. For those men (who haven’t stopped reading this), let me ask you a couple of questions: Does your wife submit to your authority in the home? If not, does that make it okay to ignore God’s authority in your life by not loving your wife as Christ loved the church?
Some of you may have seen the movie “8 Seconds.” It is about rodeo champion Lane Frost, who was famous for riding an unbeatable bull named Red Rock for a full eight seconds. In the movie, Lane is all banged up, bruised from head to toe, and a few broken bones to go along with the bruises. He thinks he’s done, down for the count. A friend comes in and says two words to him: “Cowboy up.”
With those two words, he inspired Lane to get up off the stretcher and back into the ring. He inspired him to get off his back and start doing what he was supposed to do.
Men, COWBOY UP. Get up off your butts and lead your families in the way God commands you to lead. This doesn’t mean adopting a “my way or the highway” attitude. This means modeling your leadership after Jesus Christ.
Jesus was a servant, first and foremost. He washed his disciples’ feet for them, and by so doing, demonstrated a humility that He intended all men to follow. It is this kind of humility that changes diapers, makes dinner for your family, cleans the toilet, and takes your daughter to dance. It is a humility that says you're sorry (and means it) when you're in the wrong. It's the kind of humility that tucks your kids in at night and reads them a bedtime story without them having to ask. It's the kind of humility that honors your wife by not allowing your children to speak disrepsectfully to her. It's the kind of humility that teaches your sons to respect women. It's the kind of humility that treats your daughter like the princess that she is, so that she will know how the man she marries should treat her. It is the kind of humility that not only instructs, but inspires.
Show how much you cherish your wife and children by seeking God’s will in your lives, and standing up for what you believe God tells you to do. Show God you love Him by submitting to His authority and showing your family how to do so, as well.