I have a lot of things in my house that serve no purpose.I have them simply because I can. They might have been a good bargain or a well intentioned gift, but they serve no purpose in my life. Bath loofahs are a good example. I probably have 10, am always acquiring more, but never-ever use them.

I can take little credit for the meals which are prepared in our house. My husband is chef. I am cooking-assistant (yes, that’s what he really calls me). I peel potatoes, chop onions, boil water, or any combination of the three. The U.S. Navy might call that punishment, but we call that family time. And considering the food and money we save by me not burning it, we call that efficient too.

Despite my non-existent cooking skills, I like being in the kitchen and enjoy my role as cooking-assistant. Family time, remember? My husband occasionally wears an apron that we got as a wedding gift. It’s a tasteful grilling apron but without a zany one liner about grilling. It just has stripes. As cooking-assistant, I thought it was only right if I had an apron too.

So I made one… Like with a sewing machine… First sewing project… I think you have a good visual now of a misshaped pocket, uneven ties, and more loose threads than your toddler can count. Yeah, that’s my homemade apron you’ve just imagined.

I totally forget my apron exists except on the rare occasion when my husband remembers to wear his. Then I remember to wear mine.

My apron really isn’t good for anything. Except this…

Apron + zombie make up + pregnant lady = pregnant lady wearing an apron and zombie make-up

Aprons aren’t just for cooking, ladies!

At least mine isn’t.

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