Today, I will be bringing you our interview with Jillian from Mom's Homeroom. We asked her a few questions that we felt our readers would like to hear about.
Jillian, a mother of two, is board-certified in Adolescent and Child Psychiatry as well as Psychiatry and Neurology. For the past nine years she has been helping parents and children overcome challenges like academic difficulties, learning disabilities, and emotional and social disorders. One of Jillian's strong points is to make sure that parents listen to their children as well as talking to them, which in turn improves the parent-child relationship. Read on for Jillian's advice and tips.
- Jillian discussed three general concepts when it comes to discipline no matter what the age of the child.
- Consistency - you must have the same rules, all the time. If you don't want your child jumping on the couch then you must stop your child every time they attempt to do that. Mom & Dad and even Grandparents, who are taking an even bigger role than ever in helping to raise their grandchildren, all need to be on the same page with dealing with the rules. Grandma can't let the kids do something that Mom & Dad don't allow or the children will get confused.
- Control Your Emotions - There is not a parent around that can say that they never raised their voice to yell at their kids, but in losing control of your emotions you are showing your children that you can't handle a situation. And it's not just with your kids, if you lose an important document and calming search for it without losing control you will teach your kids how to rectify a situation while keeping a clear, calm level head.
- Positive Reinforcement - One thing that is so important is to not only tell your children when they do something wrong but to let them know when they do something good. This will boost their self-esteem and generally make them feel great about themselves.
Using behavioral charts and star charts are also great ways to monitor your children's behavior, and if one doesn't work, don't give up completely, try a new approach and eventually you will find one that works.
School and Changes Within Your Child
- Kids gearing up to go back to school are filled with anxiety as it is, but add changes going on within their bodies and tweens and teens can become a whole different animal. You, as the parent will need to adjust to their mood swings, where one minute they love you and the next they hate you. You will have to understand that during this phase their peers are more important to them then you are. It is a phase and once you understand that it will pass and it is not a direct attack on you, things will become better. One tip to ease some of this anxiety of starting school is to get them involved with the school or their peers a few weeks prior to the start, this should lessen their anxiety a bit.
Ways For Families To Get Back To Basics And Connect - Sure it is easier to have your child sitting in front of the TV so you can get something done, but when that happens you both lose out. If you start a child out early on being active within the family it will be easy and a lesson they will take with them throughout their lives, but there will be obstacles if you start out with older kids. With older children they will complain about having to partake in family activities but if you continue and not give up they will eventually come around and enjoy being with the family.
Activities like cooking and arts and crafts are great ways to bond with your children. And physical activities, like going to a park or a zoo or even riding a bike can make great impressions on them. Getting back to basics can also include playing board games or doing something that doesn't involve technology. Doing that allows for so much more communication between you and your child and will make for one strong bond.
Economic Times and Stress - In these tough times when families are losing their savings, college funds and even their homes it has become extremely important to limit the amount of stress your children are exposed to. Try to have your conversations about these topics away from the kids. Even if they are sleeping (or supposed to be) they can still hear if conversations become heated. Because they don't understand most of these situations yet it is best to protect them from the stress of it all.
This is however a great time to reconnect as a family in ways that don't have you spending money. You can even include them in making a family budget so they begin to understand the importance of saving.
Jillian is a big supporter of relaxation techniques and teaches children how to release anxiety by the 3-3-3 technique (relaxation breathing). Breathe in through the nose for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, exhale through mouth for 3 seconds (by the way this works for adults too, trust me I have tried it). She also uses Visual Guided Imagery, which is where some soft, quiet new age type music is played and a mans or woman's voice comes on and give a descriptive story, like talking about how the water is bouncing off the rocks, the colors of a rainbow, etc. to help a child relax. And of course physical activity can always help burn off anxiety.
That wraps up our interview with Jillian. She is a wonderful woman and I learned so many tips and techniques from her that I will be instilling into my family life and I am so happy to have had the chance to meet her and talk to her. I hope my readers all find her advice and tips as valuable to them as I have. Thank you Jillian for a great interview! Check back soon as I introduce another Mom's Homeroom Mom to you as well as introduce the next episode of the show.
I am working with The Motherhood as a correspondent for Kellogg's and Mom's Homeroom to bring you all of this great information.