To continue my wonderful little series on the miraculousness of love, I thought I'd discuss the joys of monogamy, the absolute wonderfulness of monogamy.
For hubby, his romantic button is turned on 365 days a year, about 20 hours a day. He does take some time in there to sleep, but it's hard to get him to let up on the touchy-feely romance stuff.
I probably don't have to tell you that I am not the least bit romantic. Or maybe I do need to tell you. Well let me tell you, I am not a romantic. If you ask my husband about romance in the relationship, he'd be like, "Yeah right, Kate? Romantic? No... That doesn't happen around here."
And he's right. He'll do something heartfelt and romantic and I end up standing there, not really sure what to do with myself.
I don't know how we got paired together, Fabio and Attila the Hun.
And I'm sure this drives hubby insane at times. But let me tell ya, he definitely has his moments in which he drives me insane as well. Seriously, there are times when he makes me feel like throwing myself in the lake. Or like throwing him in the lake, I'm not sure which.
Seriously though, if before we got married someone would have had pulled me aside and told me abou how there would be moments of wanting to throw myself in the lake, and that that would be normal, I would have fallen on the floor.
Well, maybe not, because lying on the floor would have messed up my hair, but I would have been seriously shocked.
But that's one of the beautiful things about marriage. It exposes your faults, your shortcomings, your immaturitties, your insecurities and anything else that might be hidden in the depths of one's self.
Actually hubby and I are reading a book right now called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
. That in itself is miraculous since I rarely read "marriage self-help" books, and my husband doesn't read in general, unless it's something by Rush Limbaugh or something.
But the whole point of the book is that marriage isn't all about being wonderfully happy 100 percent of the time. The point of marriage is to make us holy, to make us more like the perfection of Jesus.
And you know how marriage can do such a thing? Just the fact that when hubby comes home, after I've had a long day of work and still have dinner to make, laundry to do, floor fuzz to eradicate and a smelly kid that needs to be bathed, instead of having the whole night to myself to stew in my frustrations, intense sleepiness and bad attitudes, I have to exist in my house with another person.
While getting ready in the morning with my husband's largeness constantly in my way, or while trying to concentrate on something while my husband is making weird comments about whatever pops into his head, or while trying to navigate the crazed emotions of a three-year-old together, or while dealing with a communication problem between the two of us, rather than go home to an empty house where I can just forget about any problems I may be having with my monogamous life partner, I have to confront the reasons within myself that are causing me to want to throw him in the lake and instead just try to work it out.
That is how marriage is a breeding ground for personal growth, either that or divorce.
So on this Valentine's Day, while monogamy may not be the route of least resistance, and while love is definitely not going to be enough on a lot of days(add love
to patience, commitment, resilience, determination, selflessness and gratitude) you'll be amazed at the blessings that can be found in a man leaving his family and cleaving to a woman.
And after all, love is the only force that will scare the darkness away. So be a force that is to be reckoned within your marriage, tomorrow and the rest of the year. I'll start by being that force myself, minus the lake.