Car MOT today. Always a weird day. That annual car-less experience of feeling stranded and helpless and reliant on lifts and good weather. Makes me feel uneasy. Like waiting to go into labour. Will it pass? Will those tyres class as bald? Will I need an epidural (to facilitate the extraction of such a large amount of cash from my purse)? I just hope to God they don't clock the ejector seat. That's defo not legal.
I keep my mobile pinned to my hand all day, waiting for word on whether it needs wiper blades/bulbs/tyres, and whether it is ready for pick up. Every year I shriek and squeal in equal measures of wholly irrational terror and totally unfounded excitement when the call finally comes. Demanding that entire supermarkets full of customers to "sssh", I take the call while gesturing wildly at anyone within a two mile radius that I AM ON THE PHONE TO THE GARAGE. I really, truly, absolutely MUST get out more.

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Tags: baby, funny, humor, mom

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