I am mom. It's been almost 8 months since my son was born and I'm still getting used to the fact that I am a mom. I'm responsible for this person's health and well-being for as long as I'm alive. Huge job. This morning he rolled right off the bed. Rolled right over the pillow that a month ago would keep him blocked off from the edge. It's happened before and that time he landed on top of a pillow, this morning it was the floor. I scooped him up and held him close as he cried and I cried. Terrified that I might have done something to harm him and never wanting to do it again. I told him that Mommy was sorry and I rocked him while he cried until I saw a smile spread across his face. That made me feel better. In that moment my baby boy cheered me up.

I'm a working mom. Every morning we both get ready for the day and I drop him off with Grandma and I go to work. I work only 5 mins away so that brings me some comfort but I still find myself missing him during the day. I'm surrounded by pictures of him all over my desk and I look at them often throughout the day. When I look at him I feel as if my heart might explode from all the love I feel.

You see he was an answered prayer. I was dianogised with reduced ovarian reserve basically I don't have the number of eggs I should have for at the time a 32 year old women and that my chances of concieving with my own eggs was low and egg donation was presented to me very early. I felt as if someone had kicked me in the stomach. My husband and I had been trying for 2 years prior and had just been told months before to keep trying for another 6 months but then the blood tests came back and every thing kicked into high gear. All the medicines and doctors visits. Poking and prodding at times on a daily basis. We badly wanted to be parents and we prayed regularly. 3 failed IUIs and 1 failed IVF later God opened my womb and I became pregnant. Every step of the way I diffied the odds against me and surprised my doctor several times. I was given the highest dosage of meds and my body was pushed to the limits and the Lord was with me throughout the journey through infertility.

It's funny because I think back to how I cried over every failed pregnancy test and every time my cycle started because I knew we had failed that month, but I couldn't of imagined what I was crying over. When I look in Cameron's eyes I'm filled with a love that only the Lord feels for me and I will never feel that type of love for another living person. He is my masterpiece and my greatest work. I don't know if my husband and I will concieve again. I pray we do but Cameron is enough if we are not blessed to have another child. Motherhood is not easy and I can only imagine the challenges of raising a child today but with God's help we will be fine.

I will continue to pray for my family and I will work everyday to make life better for him because the Lord entrusted him to me and my husband. I want to use my passion to build a business so I can not only be an example to my son but leave him something behind when I'm no longer here to provide for him. I pray one day I can have that business that will allow me better work hours so I can spend more time with him without sacrifing our lifestyle too much. I will pray for him everyday. I realize that he has only been loaned to me for a little while and I will cherish him always. I love being a mom even though as I said it's still new. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Views: 0

Comment

You need to be a member of Mom Bloggers Club to add comments!

Join Mom Bloggers Club

Be a Part of Something Special for Social Good

We are putting together one of the largest projects on behalf of the world's poorest mothers, newborns, and children and need your help. JOIN OUR PRIVATE GROUP to learn more and to get involved.

Advertisement

MARKETPLACE

ADVERTISEMENT

Link to Us

Loading…

© 2014   Created by Mom Bloggers Club.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service