I am not the author of these meanings. Credit goes to someone else.



Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.


Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.


Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.


Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.


Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.


Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.


Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.


Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.


Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.


Two-Minute Warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.


Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.



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