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I woke up this morning to a 13 month old with a slight cough and a refusal to eat. Had to be the Swine Flu I thought. We've been out and about so much lately she must have gotten sick from the thousands of strangers who approach us daily, because for some reason people love babies. They especially love to touch them.

I understand most people mean well, but how I am to know that the man with the crumpled shirt, tousled hair, half eaten tuna fish sandwich hanging out of his coat pocket didn't just have his hands down his pants trying to remove the toilet paper from his ass? Or the woman with the Chihuahua and huge diamond tiara didn't just take out her tampon 2 seconds before approaching us? One time there was a woman with a sniffley, runny nose on the other side of the gate at the children's park waiting next to a car, engine idling, door wide open, yelling to me "Can I hold her?" Um NO! I just politely told her my baby doesn't like contagious kidnappers.

I guess I just don't trust people and their personal hygiene. Do you know that shopping cart handles are more germy than a public restroom? Fecal matter, semen. What!? That's why I always go to the store armed with my antibacterial wipes, spray, hazmat suit...

I think it's pretty simple. Wash your hands after you use the bathroom, pick your nose, jerk off, pluck a chicken, dismember your Mom, etc, etc....and stay away from my baby please.

Was it the Swine Flu? No, turns out she just had to make a giant poop. But maybe I'll just rethink this whole going out of the house thing.

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Comment by A on May 21, 2009 at 11:23pm
Ooooh sorry! New here. That photo is HUGE! Did not mean to be obnoxious Mom showing off baby......

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