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How Do I Choose the Best Professional Cleaning Service

Keeping your home clean can be an exhausting task, especially if you have to squeeze it in between the chaos and work and keeping your family in line. And if your life feels like it’s nothing but cleaning and tedious chores, perhaps it’s…

How to Keep Your Pool Clean Without Using Chemicals

The weather is getting hotter and hotter, and if you haven’t done it already, you are probably getting ready to open your pool and start the swimming season. Having a pool in your backyard is wonderful, but it requires quite some effort before you…

8 Ways to Make Food Shopping as a Parent More Bearable

No one is denying children aren’t the gift that keep on giving. But, as a parent, there are just some tasks in day to day adult life that shouldn’t be accompanied by kids. Namely the weekly food shop. Opening yourself up to a world of whining, potential tantrums and…

My Personal Studio Audience
by Pam Victor

Wouldn’t it be fun to have a studio audience follow you where ever you go? I’m thinking about an Oprah-styled audience here. Very supportive. Very pro-you. I haven’t watched Oprah in years, but one of the parts about her show that always intrigued me was her ability to say to her audience, “Isn’t that right, folks?!” And the studio audience would cheer enthusiastically in eager reply. Wouldn’t it be so satisfying to have that kind of immediate and unconditionally supportive feedback from rows of adoring on-lookers?

Imagine if you’re having an animated discussion around the dinner table, and you’re making a particularly astute point, deftly pounding your companion’s argument into the dirt. You say, “Am I right or am I right?” and the studio audience would cheer loudly, clapping and stomping their feet. “You’re right! You’re right! Yay!”

Your personal studio audience could also give advice. You’re at Trader Joe’s. You hold up a jar of Basil Guacamole el Diablo dip, turn to your private studio audience, and look questioningly. They roar a very definitive, “Get it! Go for it! Good choice!” Slam dunk goes the dip into the cart. 1,2,3, and you’re off to the dairy section.

Or what if you were ordering in a restaurant, and there is really only one thing on the menu that interests you in the least. But the server unapologetically tells you that they’re all out of the Buffalo Burger Picante. The audience boos and hisses until the server ducks down and promises, “Let me just go into the kitchen and see what we can find. Maybe there is something the chef can do for you.” The audience cheers appreciatively, but one fat lady in the back row (bless her heart) shouts out, “You best be bringing back one of those Picante Burgers pronto, bitch” just menacingly enough to put a little giddy-up in the server’s step.

When I was on stage at the Del Close Marathon with all those eager audience members surrounding us, I realize that I was pulling an Oprah with the studio audience. “I went to Smith,” I told my Jason Mantzoukas. Then to the audience, “Hey shout out for Smith, yo!” Jason Mantzoukas was like, “WTF? You’re breaking the fourth wall here.” “Oops, my bad,” I apologized. But I kept doing it anyway. I was just trying to take advantage of the rare opportunity to have a studio audience in my back pocket during a stage date.

Now if a first date wouldn’t be the perfect opportunity to have a studio audience, then I don’t know what would. Am I right or am I right?!

Let me hear some noise out there, folks!

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To read more humorous essays or get updates, become of follower of My Nephew is a Poodle at www.pamvictor.blogspot.com.

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