My girls, they are amazing. They lift me up, they listen to me, and they are present. They listen with out judgement and offer encouraging words to help me move forward. They are sad when I am sad, and happy when I am a happy.
My roller coaster happens every day. I can almost tell when I wake up in the morning what kind of day it will be. Some days I wake up, and I refuse to let myself cry. I will be cheerful, and present with my children. I will play hide and seek with them (which is mad fun, I must say), I will be a go getter, I will go out and I will conquer. But then there are the days I wake up defeated. When I cry, and cry hard. When I'm scared because I can only rely on myself.
My girls repeatedly point out how strong I am. My victories, no matter how small are something to be celebrated. This passed Tuesday had been a weepy day. I got up, made the kids their breakfast and got them off to school clean and well dressed. Then I came home and crumpled. Defeated as I was, I printed out my resume, and trekked across town because a new acquaintance I had made told me I would be perfect for a job. I went into the music store, handed my resume to the owner and she interviewed me right on the spot. I haven't been offered a job yet, but I hope the job is mine. I know I'd be able to do what it is she needs and I'd do it well. I'd also have something other then my train wreck of a personal life to dwell on. I'd have my project.
This to my closest girlfriends was cause for celebration. Of course they all think I've got the job. I called the store owner on Friday just to follow-up, and she had said that she was rushing out the door but she did want to talk with me and to call her back on Monday. That has to be a good sign, right? I hope. I mean, if she wasn't interested she would have said so, right?
So here's my roller coaster. Who wants a ride?