I have been bothered lately with a heavy heart. So instead of carrying the pain around with me. I have decided to do what I could to
help change peoples views. I'm hoping to help people see what I embrace
as a special gift.
I have had a few of my friends point out fact that my son is different
than most boys. To these people I ask you is that not rude to say? Were
you not taught any manners? What makes you normal and him not normal,
maybe just maybe we are not "normal" and he "is". What is normal??? I
My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, deletion of chromosone #22...tail
end deletion which is not well known. A rare chromosome defect on
chromsome #6 which I'm proud to say he got from me and an abnormally
small Pituitary gland.
When I was given his diagnosis 2 years ago, I did not freak out...hit
the net for clues of why, causes or hide the fact he had issues. I
opened my arms and embraced his differences which I have done since he
was born. I wanted to shout from the mountain top...Yes, we finally
know what we are dealing with. I didn't cry, get pissed or was I sad. I
just wanted to do what I could to give him the best life he could
For now I just want to talk to you about his Aspergers. When he was
between the ages 1 and 2 I knew that his level of thinking was on a
higher level and different than ours. We had a daycare and when the
kids would all leave he would go through the all the toys and seperate
them into piles. Each pile would have no rhyme or reason to us, only to
him. There would be a pile of certain toys he would not use. He would
begin to arrange the toys in sequences/patterns all around 1200 sq ft
of space. He would spend hours doing this. We all would watch him in
facination...wondering what he was thinking and doing. He would make
squares out of the toys....each toy would have it's certain place and
reasoning of why it was next to the other toy. Which only her would
know. At times he would tell you why. You would say "WOW" I didn't
think of that! It was totally amazing. I miss this...he doesn't do it
any more. I actually took pictures and videos of it.(when I find
them I will share them with you.)
He hardly ever played with the other kids when he was younger. He liked
to be alone. He loved watching PBS..He would watch some college math
programs, Senate debating etc. You changed it he would have a fit. I
called it boring but he obvisiously didn't. He does watch cartoons now
but still watches all the educational things too. Dewy enjoys telling
us about what he learns and we enjoy listening to him. His knowledge is
Dewy does enjoy boy activities such as exploring the great outdoors,
building, fishing, rough housing with his friends, working on cars, and
other things. He does enjoy his quiet time away from all us girls. LOL.
What guy doesn't? Every activity he does is with his own spin on it.
It took him for ever and a day to ride his bike. He was afraid of
getting hurt. The first time he fell and and scraped his knees I
cheered. Not because he scraped his knee; it was the first time he
ever scraped his knee and he was 10. He plays on the cautious side.
Dewy is one of the nicest boys that you would ever meet. He may not
make eye contact with you but he will hold the door open for strangers,
gives his coat to his sisters if they are cold, make sure ladies are
first, ect. He will tell people to have a nice day and/or ask them how
there day is going? Not realizing people when people do not respond
back or respond back but don't ask him how he is doing?
Dewy has no clue when people are being mean to him I'm thankful for
that but I must say when it happens around me watch out because I'm not
as nice as he is. We all can't fit into the "normal" model what ever
that may be but for the thousands of kids like Dewy who are extremely
smart but have social limitations and the kids who are not as fortunate
as Dewy...shame on us for treating them differently and teaching our
kids to do the same. And if you think that it doesn't happen you are
wrong. I'm sorry to say it happens more with adults than kids. How sad
is that; how can we expect people to change and be accepting when we
pass on our narrow minded views to our kids. I see it every day. It
saddens my heart.
One day I hope people will be more understanding of others'
differences. Change has to start somewhere. So lets begin now. One step
closer to being deliriously happy..