The following post was posted on my blog http://melner.blogspot.com
. I thought I would share it here:
I had a “nightmare” the other night that I was pregnant (more precisely, in the dream I was told by a nurse that I was pregnant). Now, I use the term ‘nightmare’ loosely, as pregnancy is a wonderful, miraculous thing… and if you want to be pregnant, the news that you are “with child” is met with with joy, happiness, and fulfillment (I know, I felt those feelings several years ago when I found out I was pregnant with Hayden); however, when you don’t want to be pregnant and don’t want another child, the news isn’t received so kindly (to say the least).
My interpretation of the dream: obviously I don’t want to be pregnant and have another child right now because in my dream I was NOT happy with the news.
I was in denial and more than adamant that I could not be pregnant. In the dream, I told Randy and he seemed okay with the news… to which I responded, “this is not okay.”
The news of my impending pregnancy was devastating. And I know that is a harsh, extreme term to use – but my feeling in the dream was one of devastation and dejection, not ecstasy and elation.
In sum, I guess the dream doesn’t lie: I do not want another baby right now.
So my apologies to all the grandparents (and to anyone else eager for Baby Werner #2 to come around)… it’s just going to be the three of us for awhile (unless of course my “nightmare” comes true).
Note: I must add that it isn't the actual pregnancy component of being pregnant that frightens me; rather, it's the addition of the second child... I loved being pregnant and I certainly love my son... but to have another one right now just does not appeal to me.