Obnoxious Comments and Clever Responses: Breastfeeding Edition

We have all heard them, the obnoxious comments and “wise” sayings of
others intending to “instruct” or “help” breastfeeding moms with the act
of breastfeeding.” Whether it be from a well-intended family member or a
questionably “interested” stranger, these comments are usually based on
some past knowledge or personal experience, from so-and-so mother that
they knew, or mother that someone else knew.

They are usually said with such assurance that breastfeeding moms are often left with
such little room to respond without either a) offending the actual
offending party, b) sounding as if they don’t care about others
opinions, or c) appearing as if they really know with assurance that
they “do” know and have thought about their breastfeeding choices. This
was the case until now.

Below is a list of ten of the mostly commonly voiced obnoxious comments. These are comments that have either
been said to me or to other breastfeeding moms I know. Along with the
comments are creative ways for moms to respond.

Wow! Are you STILL breastfeeding?

Response: I am. You know what they say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”

Giving your baby a little formula won’t hurt. It will actually help with your milk supply.

Response: I am confident that my baby is doing just fine on my breast milk alone. Furthermore, and just so you
know, by supplementing with formula, you actually risk decreasing your
milk supply given the fact that breast milk is produced on a supply and
demand basis.

I don’t think your producing enough milk. Your baby always seems hungry.

Response: Yes, she does always seem hungry. That is because breast milk (much like any other food that is good for
you) digests very easily, leading to a healthy digestive system.

Your baby sure is growing quickly. Now, you did say that you did not give him any formula, right?

Response: Right. He has not received an ounce of formula. My doctor explained that breastfed babies typically
grow faster than their formula-fed counterparts in the first few months.

I would have breastfed my baby, but I didn’t want to deal with having saggy breasts afterwards.

Response: Actually, breastfeeding does not CAUSE saggy breasts. Pregnancy will, however.
Furthermore, who cares about what my breasts look like? By breast
feeding, I burn more calories, am at a decreased risk for various types
of cancers, and receive psychological benefits. Can’t beat that, right?

Can you stop feeding your baby here? There are young children and men around. Perhaps, you could go to the
bathroom. It’s more private in there.

Response: Until there is a law against it, I will feed my baby (emphasis on “my”) wherever and whenever I like. You
are right, however, about one thing. Given that there are young children
and men around, you may want to tell that woman (any woman wearing a
top showing all but the actual nipple) to cover up. Oh, and on the
feeding in the bathroom. I personally think that’s an odd place to eat,
but if you want your lunch in there, who am I to judge?

Your baby is ALWAYS crying. It’s probably because your milk is NOT good.

Response: Actually, it’s the reverse. She is crying because she LOVES my milk.

I’m sure your husband misses you.

Response: How can you be so sure?

I would have breastfed my baby, but it just wasn’t for me. I mean, after all, I have a life.

Response: (Laugh first) I breastfeed my baby, and that is just one component to my life. I guess some people
know how to juggle or, better yet, balance life’s demands.

Can’t they eat REAL food now?

Response: Can you define REAL?

Are there any comments that I missed? If so, please feel free to add them
in a comment along with your most clever response(s).

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