I did a little housekeeping this past weekend. Not only did I clean out my closet, but I cleaned out Olive’s as well. This meant packing away many, many items – clothes, toys, etc, that she can’t use anymore. It was an emotional trip down memory lane. You really don’t remember how difficult the early days are; you only remember how cute and tiny these babies were, and how they stay in one place when you put them down (so convenient, why did I take that for granted).
So as I was standing there in front of all this old (but still usable) baby stuff, the question of “Should I store this, or donate this” came up. This question is really just a different way to ask “Am I seriously considering having another baby???” – a question that my husband and I have gone back and forth on for a long, long time.
When I was younger, I always thought that I would have a large family. Maybe 2 kids, or 3! I never really thought about why I wanted that many, it just seemed like a nice number. Hey, it was all easy to imagine before you had to go through the postpartum stuff of actually having a kid. But now that I’ve lived through it, I’m having second thoughts. I don’t know if I’m ready go to back to the round-the-clock wakings, the nursing, the hormones… I feel like it took me a long time to get to a place where I enjoy parenthood, so I’m not sure I want to go back. Also, having one kid is already a lot of work – having two just seems so impossible.
If I have to be honest, one of the main reasons I want another child is for Olive to have a companion while she’s growing up. It’s not so much to fulfill a desire I have for myself. Or, if god forbid, something terrible happens to my husband or myself, she will have a sibling who can hold her hand through the rough times. Are these reasons good enough to have another baby?
Did your idea of “the perfect number” of kids change through the years? For those of you who have more than one child: has it been difficult adjusting from one, to two? And for those, like me, who only have one child: Do you think you’ll have another?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.