As I am packing my house for our upcoming move, I thought that I would write a small mom's survival guide to packing with kids

Supplies needed

250 boxes of different shapes and sizes

10 rolls of duct tape

50 Sunday news papers

5 sharpie markers

100 trash bags

Start in what ever room your kids aren't in at that point in time. Open box, duct tape bottom together. Turn around and grab item that you would like to pack, wrap carefully with paper so it does not break, turn around to put it in the box. Set item down and remove toddler from box. Carry toddler to room with a tv, set tv to toddlers favorite cartoon, walk back to your box. Realise box is missing, go to find older children who are now using box as a house. Decide not to fight with children go get new box. Duct tape box together. Hear children fighting over first box and offer them second box. Return to room you were packing. Open third box, look for duct tape. Look for toddler who is being quiet. Take duct tape away from toddler and return to room that you are packing. Put box together, place item in box. Wrap next item carefully as so it won't break in move, put in box. Repeat. After box is full, write on box with sharpie contents of box. Move box to designated packed box area of house, preferably a room that children can not get in such as garage.

Start on your next box. Realise that children are being quiet, go and check on them. Check toddler first, change diaper. All still playing with boxes, go back to packing. Duct tape next box together, place items in box, write on box. Realise sharpie is gone. Go look for sharpie. Never find it, grab new one. Hear fighting over boxes because now toddler wants one. Put box together give box to toddler. Let dog out to go pee, let dog back in.

Open and duct tape next box. Hear screaming children coming towards you, hide. After children find you listen to all complaints. then threaten to take boxes away. Decide what to pack next. Hear yelling again. Decide to make lunch. Stop packing and make lunch. Eat lunch, clean up lunch. Read book to toddler, play with toddler, find missing Hannah Montana microphone, look for blue crayon, ask who wants to go outside. Throw children in fenced in back yard with dog.

Pack a room that you can see them in. Move everything into that room that you will need to pack. Realise that it is now raining let children inside. change everyone out of wet clothes and dry off dog.

Find something for them all to do together. Go back to your box. pack box, look for sharpie. Never find it, grab new one. Go break up fight. Threaten to duct tape children to chair if they don't stop fighting. Walk back to room. Notice toddler has all of your newspapers strewn throughout the room. Pick up mess. Hear older children fighting, duct tape them to couch. Go back to packing. Pick up papers toddler has gotten into again, duct tape toddler to wall. Pack 2 boxes decide your bored, unduct tape kids, let them play with all boxes and papers while you drink beer and watch untill DH gets home
Explain to DH that if he wants the damn house packed he can either do it himself or let you find a sitter!

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Tags: beer, funny, going, hate, i, kids, moving, nuts, packing

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