Of course you never, ever, ever, EVER, say out loud that you do actually believe that she has gone to sleep, because you can solid gold guarantee that such laughably foolish behaviour only serves to invite to your doorstep a world of late night hurt and woe, spent pacing the landing and muttering under the breath you would happily no longer have in your body, if it meant that death itself could in fact save you from this incessant, incensing, incandescent whirlpool of unfathomable torment.
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Tags: baby, funny, humor, mom

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