As I sit here reading back my earlier post, I had a sudden urge to expand on the subject of visualization exercises and my personal experience with it.
When I started this blog I made a deal with myself to keep it authentic and relevant. My goal was to write about subject matters that inspired or moved me, and had relevance in the world as we know it today.
But I also pledged not to delve into my past because for me, part of becoming relevant is to always move forward, onward and upward.
However, I feel that as far as visualization techniques go, I needed to be more forthright and share with my readers some personal experiences. Hopefully this will inspire someone out there who feels a sense of hopelessness.
I was 19 when I had my first child. I got pregnant after high school, got married at 19 and had three kids. Three years later we had our marriage annulled and there I was at 21, single with 3 kids. After my third pregnancy, I knew that with my situation being what it was, I didn’t want any more kids. I was young, desperate and foolish. So I had a tubal ligation at age 21. (I was still living in my native country where it wasn’t illegal to have your tubes tied at such a young age). It was a definitive step I made not thinking this would have far greater repercussions that I could ever have imagined.
A few years later, I left my 3 children in the care of their dad and grandparents and migrated to the US to seek greener pastures and give my children a better future by embarking on a career in NY. Moving here meant I could save up to make sure that my children’s future would be secure.
But little did I know that it wasn’t only my career that I would enhance by moving to the US. In NY is where I found a new lease in life. I met, fell in love and married my soul mate. We’re married 12 years now. We have three adorable sons. Our oldest is 8 years old and we have 4-yr old twins.
And this is where my positive visualization comes in. Three years after our marriage we decided to try IVF to complete our family unit. We had the perfect life. Two thriving careers in a then stable economy. All that we needed now was to have our picket fenced house and our children. My children from my first marriage were growing up and had loving supportive family around them and had no intention of moving to the States. Although this was not the ideal situation for me, I had to respect my children’s wish to stay in our native country and be content with flying back and forth to see them and stay connected with them.
On the flip side, this was my husband’s first marriage, he had no children prior and was really longing to become a father. So we decided to try IVF.
In deciding to try IVF, my husband put no pressure on me but made sure that this was a journey that I wanted to go through with him. Because I made the irrational and drastic decision in my earlier life to have my tubes tied I now had to go through grueling months of having needles stuck into my body, months of hormone injections to induce hyper ovulation. This led to weight gain and many months of stress and anxiety.
But through it all I always visualized what our kids would look like and kept that vision in my mind’s eye consistently.
Now our family unit is complete and I firmly believe that although this would never have been possible without IVF, a big component of the success of going through the in vitro fertilization process was my ability to visualize what our family unit was going to be.
I am not saying this will always work for everyone. IVF does NOT have a 100% success rate. There are a lot of factors that goes into a successful IVF cycle. There’s obviously a lot more biology and chemistry than ideology involved in IVF. Not everyone will conceive with IVF. For me though it was a combination of the procedure and my keeping in focus the vision of conceiving and giving my husband the children he wished for, that helped in our journey to succeed. And more importantly, I was finally in a position where I could welcome children into my life and provide a stable and secure environment.
My intent in sharing this experience is to give hope to those who have lost hope. Over a decade ago if someone told me I would have more kids I would’ve thought they were crazy. But for me, with the help of IVF and visualization it became a reality.
Another positive result of visualizing is my battle with weight gain. Before IVF, I fit into single digit sized clothes. After that, I gained so much weight I had to buy double-digit sizes. Now, after I decided to take control back I am down to single digit sized clothes again.
Thanks to visualization exercises, cutting out sugar in my diet, minimizing my carb intake and exercise, I will finally fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and summer will not be spent just lounging by the pool with a cover-up to hide my muffin top.
May my personal journey inspire someone to reach their goals.