I used to be a positive thinker! I didn't know to be negative, really. That was a couple decades ago, though.
Then, along came adulthood.
With adulthood came marriage.
My marriage was not the best marriage. It could have been and should have been a great marriage. But, for some reason, the sweet man I married turned into someone not so sweet.
With my husband's put-downs and all the ugliness of our marriage, I began to think negatively all the time. He certainly never thought positive -- that is not until he started dating his current mistress. To win her, he had to act charming to her. Then he started trying to find reasons to excuse his sin so he started telling himself I was always negative.
Seriously, he made me a negative thinker, because he was a negative person. He was mean and cruel and frightening. He always had a scowl on his face.
Yes, he made me a negative thinker.
Hey, I allowed it though. I should not have allowed him to change me into what I became. I should have kicked him right out of my life!
I never believed I should kick him out of my life though. I always believed I should honor my marriage vows. And, honor them I did -- with every ounce of strength I had.
Even though it nearly destroyed who I was, I honored my marriage vows.
I believe God has rewarded me greatly for honoring my marriage vows through some really bad circumstances.
I particularly thank God for my two amazing children. If I had not married my husband, I would not have my children.
Some parents go through a lot of heartache for their children. Maybe their children are not so cute. Or, not so smart. Or, had an illness, etc. My heart hurts for parents who have to watch their children hurt. My children are very smart, very nice-looking, seemingly well put-together. I believe God blessed my children to bless me for staying true in my marriage. I believe that is my reward for going through so much sadness.
I do not recommend that anyone ever dishonor their marriage. I believe it is never okay to sin. Sure, God will forgive you for your sins. But, there are consequences for all of our sins. We are forgiven but we do reap what we sow.
I mentioned earlier that I should have kicked my husband right out of my life. Yes, I should have done so in an effort to help him become all that he should have been. Not to divorce him, but to help him. I was too afraid of him though.
In retrospect, I might not be going through a divorce right now if I had demanded change from my husband. You see, he had it in him to be a wonderful man. I wish I had done even more than I did to help him.
Do not misunderstand me. I did kick my husband out of my life many times and demanded that he get help for himself. So, he always "tried" to get help but he never stuck with it. He never really tried. He went to a lot of effort to pretend that he was trying so that he could get me back. I should have waited until his changes were made, rather than allow him back into my life while he was "working" on it.
I tried everything I could think of to help my husband, and to help us. But, I never waited long enough to ensure that my husband understood that I meant business. I was too easy on him.
Now, we have been separated for 2 years. He has a mistress, who apparently loves him, yet he treats her horribly -- kind of the way he treated me, I guess.
Now he has no relationship with the two most amazing children in the world, his very own children. I could not live without my children. I do not know how he could possibly be happy without the love of his children. I cannot imagine living each day of my life without being a part of my children's lives, much less knowing there seems to be no chance of having them in my life ever again.
He probably heaps the blame of losing his kids on his mistress. I do not really feel sorry for her at all, of course.
My husband's mistress was married. At some point she and her husband separated. She took in a live-in lover. Eventually, she got divorced. She began her relationship with my husband before she was divorced and while living with another man who was not her husband. Then, she cheated with my husband on her live-in boyfriend while she was still living with him and sleeping with him. All the while, she was fully aware that my husband was married to me and living with me and that I had no idea about her at all. I do not feel sorry for her and what she gets on this earth. I do feel sorry for her when she has to stand in front of God one day and give an account of her life.
I feel sorry for my husband when he has to stand before God one day, as well.
Hey, I feel sorry for me when I have to stand in front of God one day! And, I haven't made any major "bad" choices in my life as far as adultery and such. But, sin is sin and I sin every day.
I am thankful God is a forgiving God.
But for now, our lives on earth are a product of our own choices and the choices of those in our lives.
I allowed myself to become a negative thinker. Through the healing process of trying to move on past being married to the only man I have ever loved, I am now more convinced than ever that what we think, we bring about.
I am becoming a positive thinker! I am seeing what I want for my life -- and I definitely want to be happier than I have been throughout most of my adult life. Postive thinking can help bring my goal to fruition.
I am a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. I have not done well with my Mary Kay business, mostly because of my stinkin-thinkin! Hey, I am changing! I can see myself going all the way with my Mary Kay business! And, I am going to!
Mary Kay Ash was an amazingly positive, forward-thinking woman who cared about women. You can learn more about Mary Kay Ash and her life at www.marykay.com/rmeritt. She sure knew how to make women believe in themselves! Just reading about her has helped me feel good about myself.
I also am a Juice Plus+ distributor. I became a Juice Plus+ distributor simply because it is simple and inexpensive and I figured if I sold any products at all, I would pay for my own products. But, now that I have really learned the benefits of Juice Plus+, I want everyone to take it! Juice Plus+ is, in my opinion, a nutritional miracle. I feel so good knowing that I am doing all I can to ensure that my children and I are getting the best nutrition possible -- just in case my cooking and food preparation is not all that it should be. You can learn more about Juice Plus+ at www.robin-takes-juiceplus.com.
I have begun a "Motivational Quotes" section on my website, www.womencopingwell.com. I plan on continuing to grow that area of my website.
We women really need to encourage each other to stand tall, to remember how wonderful we really are. God made women to be special and amazing. And women are special and amazing. I love us! I love men too -- but women are amazing creatures of God.
So, hold your head high. Look in your mirror as often as possible and tell the image in the mirror that God made you for a special purpose. Tell yourself you are an amazing and beautiful woman. Tell yourself that God loves you more than you can even begin to understand. And, tell yourself that you deserve to be loved and treated well by everyone around you.
Then, go love others. Be kind and gentle to all of the people God has put into your life. Then, gently demand the same love and respect from those in your life. Smile as much as possible. Smile even when you do not feel like it. Love those who are not so nice with a smile and a gentle reminder that they must be kind to be a part of your life.