ADVERTISEMENT
Crunching, snapping, grinding, squeezing, crushing, pulverising pressure was my first ever Christmas pressie from Boo. Then she went and ordered me a back massage. She does love me. I think.

I normally frequent beauty establishments where you are consistently referred to as 'love', prices are handwritten on florescent cardboard stars sellotaped round the edge of mirrors, and throughout your stay there is a scraggy, flea ridden stray cat rubbing its way in and out of your ankles.
My massage was at Saks. It's neurotically tidy, there are an abundance of perfectly coiffed gay stylists and strangers keep asking me how I feel. I always find this Disney-eque interest in my well being terribly unnerving. Such places make me feel inept, oafish and have me constantly checking my back for a 'kick me' sign. How I escape such establishments with any dinner money is a bloody miracle. And everyone smells gorgeous. Which only serves to heighten my insecurity regarding the ammonia based nappy stink which I now most proudly exude.

Views: 4

Comment

You need to be a member of Mom Bloggers Club to add comments!

Join Mom Bloggers Club

Our newest members. Join us + 23,000 fellow mom bloggers

ADVERTISEMENT

MBC CUTIES

Our current cutie was uploaded by Stephanie WentworthUpload a photo of your cutie. They may be featured here. See all of the cuties.

Our Latest Food, Travel & Lifestyle Posts

Has Blogging Become One Big Chore?

Have you ever looked at your blog’s dashboard and whimpered to yourself, “Oh, I just cannot in any way, shape, or form write a blog post today?”

We have all been there, right? Or, is it just me?

After eight years of blogging I have whimpered that more times than I…

How to Get Your Kids to the Dentist Without Tears, Tantrums or Throwing

Growing up, you might remember a time in your life when the only thing scarier than the boogeyman was your dentist. Over the years, you grew to appreciate your dentist and his or her service to your dental health, however, it did take you some time to grow into that mentality. Give your kids a…

ADVERTISE

© 2016   Created by Mom Bloggers Club.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service