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I just received an e-newsletter from a pregnancy website that I didn't sign up for. My subscription could be the result of one of my hilarious Mabel's Labels co-workers thinking I should be following this pregnancy of mine a little more closely.


My first e-newsletter arrived congratulating me for being 30 weeks pregnant. I did the math which confirmed that the website knows more about my pregnancy than I do. It went on to tell me how I should be feeling - which is bad. Each day should now be greeted lethargically. Varicose veins should be plaguing me, along with the inability to sleep and the constant urge to urinate. This coming week I'm told to look forward to stretch marks, and the word "gassy" came up on several occasions.


And here I've been going along feeling great and largely forgetting that I'm actually brewing a baby. Time to start pulling rank, I say. I'm going to commit to some waddling and maybe groan when I go from the sitting to standing position. Hey, I'm 30 weeks pregnant so fully entitled - my new e-newsletter told me so. Take that Mabel gals and see how much fun I am to work with now. That little e-newsletter thing really backfired!


My e-newsletter also informed me that my baby is now the size of a squash, which erupted controversy among the other 30-week e-newsletter subscribers. There were no less than 47 comments from the moms-to-be expressing passionately either for or against the baby/squash comparison. With so many opinions on the topic, I was left thinking that this was a case of hormones gone wild. I tried to have an opinion, but nothing happened. Does this mean I don't care as much as they do about my squash....er.....I mean, my baby?


The next part is what really freaked me out. It provided me with a link to my personalized pregnancy to-do list. It looked like this:


Number of items on to-do list: 78
Number of items completed on to-do list: zero


Yes, apparently I have 78 things left to do before I have this baby. I can't even bring myself to open the link to my list. As someone who is now 10 weeks late for her first obstetrician appointment, I can't start stressing about pulling out my little sleepers from bins in the basement and whitening my whites.


Mamas have about nine months to prep for baby. While there may be about 75 things left on my official 'to-do' list on the day this baby arrives, I have a feeling we'll somehow muddle through it.

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