Hi, my name is Portia and I am a recovering good girl. I think as the oldest of three children I came to my good girl tendencies naturally. At school I studied hard, tried really hard, got good grades and helped my teachers after school. I was such a good girl that during the planning of my high school’s (unsanctioned) senior skip day I was asked to collect my classmate’s money because my classmates knew that no principal or teacher would ever suspect I was involved in the event.
At home, I never made trouble. Helped my mom out with the housecleaning, cooking and taking care of my siblings. I worked very hard to please my parents and not disappoint them. I was very good at being a good girl.
My good girl tendencies carried over into my first job after college and well into my career into my early thirties as a senior manager at a New York PR agency. Back then I believed that my hard work would speak for itself and that I didn’t have to promote myself. Back then I clammed up when one of my colleagues took my ideas and presented them as her own to a client. Back then I took the raise I was offered by my manager rather than negotiating for what I was worth. Back then I agreed to take on thankless (and ultimately worthless) projects that did nothing to raise my visibility or increase my value to my business unit or (most importantly) to my clients. Back then, I wouldn’t speak up and give my opinion even when I knew I could add value because I worried I wouldn’t sound smart enough. But that was then.
It’s only in the last few years that I’ve ditched my good girl ways and I’ve learned:
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