Retailers take notice!
I do NOT wish to give you my phone number or open a charge card to save 10% (which barely covers the sale tax here in Michigan). I do not need batteries or any other impulse items that liter the sales counter to point I can not find room stack the items I am actually purchasing. Please stop talking about your boyfriend and his cousin(that just got out of jail) to the clerk next to us. Although I'm glad he's home for the holidays, I really could care less. Please stop answering the phone and paging Mike over head. If Mike needs 12 pages overhead to pick up the call on 605, while I'm standing in line to check out, maybe Mike should answer the phone himself. Please stop telling me what you CAN'T do and start telling me what you CAN do! I do not wish to purchase a protection plan for 40 dollars for the next three years on an item that only cost $70. Does that make much sense, Larry? And isn't your company in chapter 11? I'm concerned that you'll even be here for Christmas exchanges, let alone three years from now. Why for all that's holy is it everyone's very first day on the job?? AND is too much to ask that you give me a couple of boxes for the 12 shirts I just bought?? Come On! I realize that I will be proctologically violated during this holiday shopping season by your inflated prices, lack luster inventory and weakening sales force, but can't you retailers show me just a glimmer of love? At least fake it, we all have to from time to time!
You can check out more of my foolishness on my blog!