Saying Goodbye in Her Own Way ....

So Friday evening came and we were dressed and ready in our pink dresses to go pay our respects to Julia’s friend and her family. This would have been her first wake and funeral and I know she didn’t know what to expect. We discussed it over and over again. Sometimes with tears, sometimes with giggles and always with her heart on her sleeve. When it came time to leave oour house she looked at me and said, “Will Ellie know if I don’t go tonight Mom?” ”She will know honey, but she won’t be disappointed. As long as you think of her and the memories you have together, you are still paying her respect.” What else is there to say?

She wore pink all weekend though, as she reminded me time and again, she really doesn’t like pink anymore. She wrote a speech that she will read at a memorial service at Camp Care next month and then decided that she would attend her friend’s birthday party because she knows that’s what she would want Ellie to do if it was her.

So that is the update of how Julia is dealing with losing another friend to cancer at the ripe old age of 8 years and 1 month old.It gets more difficult as she matures and as the numbers keep climbing. It is a horrible feeling of loss when you see children dying and no one able to stop the madness!

Julia has a clinic appointment tomorrow morning and we wait with baited breath for the blood results as we always do because we know there is a chance it could be our child next. How do you possibly make this okay and right in the world?



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