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Why not just roar right in with the topic everyone is interested in! 

HOW NOT TO GO CRAZY WHILE WATCHING SPONGEBOB? 

NO!!!!!! 

I'm talking about sex.

 

And now, I shall give you a re-cap.  Don't worry.  I kept it clean.  I'm a mommy, after all.  Keeping things clean is what I do.

 

RECAP:

 

My daughter Boopie (they warn you not to use your child's real name in a blog!) has a play-date.  YAY!  My hubby and I are FINALLY alone for a whole two hours! After he drops her off, he's in the bathroom.  I hear the water running.  That's my cue.  (Not very sexy or romantic...SORRY)!

 

Anyway, that's how we roll here.  Literally (sorry!).  So I rush into the other bathroom....luckily, we have two now....and do some quick "getting ready."  I quickly slather on some Walgreens vitaman E lotion....cover up that weird pimple spot on my butt with dollar store cover-up....what else?  what else?  Brush hair...spritz on some Vanilla Fields perfume.....I hear the other bathroom door open....

Oh no!  I don't feel "in the mood!"  Panic! 

I know we should "do it"...we need to "do it"...it's already been over a week.....I don't want us to turn into one of those couples who NEVER do it....

 

Get yourself in the mood! I order myself.  I need to think of something sexy.

 

"You in there?" my hubby is calling.  "I've got something for you!"

 

Quick!  Quick!  I tell myself.

 

So I flash on some X-rated google images I saw earlier.  They popped up when I was looking for pics for a Hub page I was writing.....women  flashing on a public beach.  Is this weird "turn on fodder?"  I'm not sure, but it's working......

 

Are you ever coming out of there?" my husband wants to know.

 

Okay, that's annoying.  He's destroying my google imaging.....

 

"Yea..hold on!" I tell him.

 

One more image...okay, I'm ready.....I go out in the bedroom....he's there....waiting.....

 

"Hi!" I say in a sexy voice.

 

Inwardly, I breath a sigh of relief.  Thank God, I'm finally in the mood!

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Comment by Nadalee Merczel on July 19, 2012 at 8:30am

Exactly!  It's hard to just "flip a switch"....but when you're so short on "available windows" that's what you have to learn how to do!

Comment by Ursula Tara Davis on July 18, 2012 at 11:01am

So so cute...I wonder what you are going to do after about 26 years...Lol

I don't blame you for saying that you don't want to be like others couples who are not engaging at all in sexual pleasure.

I honestly can say after 26 years of marriage to the same man I find him even more sexier than in the beginning when we were exploring...We know what we are doing now...

I do also understand how interesting it can be not finding the time to make love just taking the time to love each other. Obviously, that's what you did and that's what really works!!!

I personally believe that sexual pleasure is absolutely essential because it is a stress reliever, especially after the care and concerns of each day.

So you go girl!!!

 

 

 

Comment by Amber Williams on July 18, 2012 at 10:14am

Haha! I love this, sometimes it's hard to switch the switch between mommy brain and sexy wife brain!! :D

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