Why not just roar right in with the topic everyone is interested in!
HOW NOT TO GO CRAZY WHILE WATCHING SPONGEBOB?
I'm talking about sex.
And now, I shall give you a re-cap. Don't worry. I kept it clean. I'm a mommy, after all. Keeping things clean is what I do.
My daughter Boopie (they warn you not to use your child's real name in a blog!) has a play-date. YAY! My hubby and I are FINALLY alone for a whole two hours! After he drops her off, he's in the bathroom. I hear the water running. That's my cue. (Not very sexy or romantic...SORRY)!
Anyway, that's how we roll here. Literally (sorry!). So I rush into the other bathroom....luckily, we have two now....and do some quick "getting ready." I quickly slather on some Walgreens vitaman E lotion....cover up that weird pimple spot on my butt with dollar store cover-up....what else? what else? Brush hair...spritz on some Vanilla Fields perfume.....I hear the other bathroom door open....
Oh no! I don't feel "in the mood!" Panic!
I know we should "do it"...we need to "do it"...it's already been over a week.....I don't want us to turn into one of those couples who NEVER do it....
Get yourself in the mood! I order myself. I need to think of something sexy.
"You in there?" my hubby is calling. "I've got something for you!"
Quick! Quick! I tell myself.
So I flash on some X-rated google images I saw earlier. They popped up when I was looking for pics for a Hub page I was writing.....women flashing on a public beach. Is this weird "turn on fodder?" I'm not sure, but it's working......
Are you ever coming out of there?" my husband wants to know.
Okay, that's annoying. He's destroying my google imaging.....
"Yea..hold on!" I tell him.
One more image...okay, I'm ready.....I go out in the bedroom....he's there....waiting.....
"Hi!" I say in a sexy voice.
Inwardly, I breath a sigh of relief. Thank God, I'm finally in the mood!