It would be a lie if I said I have the patience and kindness of an angel *picks a harp and smashed it against the wall over and over*
I lead a dual life. When you are not around, I will curse and swear like a sailor so bad that I need to sterilize my mouth.
Sometimes I accidentally let that sailor bitch possessed me.
Here were some incidents where I morphed into a MOM-ster. I sometimes screamed my head off and start punching a random wall.
When Darya gets into her tantrum babybitchfit and faceplanting herself on the ground IN PUBLIC
DARYA! STOP ACTING LIKE AN ABANDONED CHILD!
When Darya screamed and bawled at home.
(We lived in a super tight pigeon hole community where sometimes I can even hear my neighbors talking so yes I am sure they hear me too well when I scream)
GO ON. SCREAM LOUDER. LET THE NEIGHBORHOOD KNOW HOW I ABUSED YOU.
When Darya picks up food she threw on the floor and put it in her mouth
HELLO. DID I NOT FEED YOU PROPERLY?? ARE YOU FROM THE STREETS?!
When Darya starts getting demanding and wants things her way
EXCUSE ME! I AM NOT YOUR B**** (I swallowed back the entire word before I even begin so I looked like I'm blowing a trumpet; clamping my lips shut)
When Darya squirmed and escaped from me and ran off with me dragging the stroller and hauling the diaper bag
DARYA! STOP!! DARYAAAA!
In the train, Darya suddenly throws a babybitchfit
YES DARYA, SCREAM. LET ALL THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW I MISTREATED YOU. YES SCREAM. THANK YOU.
(Saying it monotonously yet audible for all who stared and gave me the stink eye to hear, complete with a deadpan look)
Darya starts throwing stuff in my face
*caught one item in hand* DO NOT MAKE ME I TELL YOU!!!!
Darya attacks another child
NO DAMMIT NO!!!!
When Darya destroys my doodles
Well, I am sure there is more not so proud moment coming from me to come....
I am your not so proud Umi to keep