Why does tackling the workings of a child's car seat require a physics degree?
I dug out the instruction book.
Do I want to adjust the straps? Nope.
Do I want to know how to undo the harness? Yeah. Ha bloody ha. That's dead helpful that.
Do I want to wear the seat as an elaborate Lady's Day hat? Hello?! That's next Tuesday.
Do I want to use it as a lilo? With the jet pack? To herd cattle?
No. I. Do. Not.
I merely want to remove the cover from the bloody thing and PUT IT IN THE WASHING MACHINE.
Turns out this information, nestled in at the back of the instruction book, comes under a chapter called
'Two Minute Jobs? You're Having A Laugh'.
I flicked my way through paragraphs and subsections and disclaimers and small print, then finally, I located the information I required, which was only available in the French column of the multilingual instructions. Having spat my way through five years of G.C.S.E German, I would be relying heavily on the numbered diagrams, which sadly, looked like they had been drawn with absolutely no reference to the chair itself, and with the artistic dexterity of those who paint Mickey Mouses on the side of ice cream vans.
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