This evening the lyrics to "So Amazing" by Luther Vandross are playing in my head and I have this overwhelming sense of purpose. I feel like I am finally walking into my destiny. I am finally using the gift that God gave me and I can't really explain how extremely grateful I feel right now. I am grateful that God allowed me to live long enough to accept the gift that he gave me and to really begin to use it.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I was telling a friend that I needed to start using my gift. That I needed to start taking my writing seriously and start doing what I was put here for. For many years my friends and family had been encouraging my to work on a book and I would always respond that I was "working on it." I would start writing and then stop, over and over again. I would complain that I didn't have the time, that I was just too busy with work and raising my son, that I would get around to it and never did.
It's funny how God works and even funnier how the Devil distracts you. It's been almost a year since I have been off work and I have had more time on my hands now then I have had my entire adult life, yet I still didn't REALLY write. I found everything else to do with my free time, i.e., fool around on Facebook, playing The Sims and the one thing that I spent hours on...Turntable.fm. Sure, I would write a little every now and then and I would tell myself that "starting Monday" I would commit at least 2 hours a day to writing. I can't tell you how many Mondays came and went and yet, I STILL wasn't writing. God had given me all this time off, time that I probably would never have again and STILL I didn't write.
It's a good thing that God isn't in the business of giving up on us, because had it been a mere mortal, they would have said, "She's a lost cause. She will never use her gift the way that it was meant for her to use it. She will never understand her purpose here on earth."
I guess you can say that I started listening to what God and everyone else had been trying to tell me for years. Lately, I have been coming up with all this subject matter to write about. I have come up with ideas on how to use my writing to inspire and help others and it's crazy how once I decided to really accept my purpose, how my creative juices have been flowing. But you know the Devil never wants you to do what God wants you do and he almost had me doubting myself through "an acquaintance."
I asked someone to read my blog and let me know what they thought and without reading the entire thing, part of their response was, "..I am just not big on these single sista blogs that are nothing but self righteous rants with no self reflection." Now if you know me, you know that I don't take criticism very well (I'm working on that) and to say that I was pissed off would be an understatement, especially when you didn't read all my blogs. You just went off the name off the blog and came to that assumption? For a minute, just a QUICK minute, I was second guessing myself and was thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. However, I though about what my momma always said, "One monkey don't stop no show," so the show as you can see, kept going on.
It's so amazing when you realize and start doing exactly what you were called to do. This blog is only the beginning and since I started writing it, I have come to remember how much I really love to write. How effortless it truly is. I said it before and it is worth saying again, It's a good thing that God isn't in the business of giving up on us because if he had I wouldn't be feeling so amazing right now. Thank you God!!!!