So today has been an unexpectedly difficult day for me. I started off this morning OK. A little irritable but whatever that happens often. By 10 AM I was a mess. I was crying, ready to set my dogs free into the wilderness in which we live, take everything in my house and set it on fire, etc. you get the point. I don't like feeling that out of control. Being bipolar, I always feel a little bit out of control and I crave control which is why I am extremely organized. I can tell I am in a "bad space" when I start digging at my scalp.
I have been a compulsive scalp picker for as long as I can remember. When I stopped cutting it got significantly worse. The last couple of years I have gotten better. Don't get me wrong I do it several times a day still but I don't dig I just lightly scratch. The only time I dig is when I am very anxious or very angry. So that was happening and also, my patience wears extremely thin and my skin starts crawling, a terrible side affect of anxiety that I have experienced since I was very young. So all in all, this resulted in me hysterically calling my husband and forcing him to come home because I didn't feel safe in my own skin and didn't feel comfortable taking care of Mason while feeling like this. So he came home, I have been able to calm down, feeling better, the end...
So, I decided to make me feel a little better, I would list:
5 things I am grateful for: