"Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy"

BlissfullyBipolarMommy-Click to check out my blog!

So today has been an unexpectedly difficult day for me. I started off this morning OK. A little irritable but whatever that happens often. By 10 AM I was a mess. I was crying, ready to set my dogs free into the wilderness in which we live, take everything in my house and set it on fire, etc. you get the point. I don't like feeling that out of control. Being bipolar, I always feel a little bit out of control and I crave control which is why I am extremely organized. I can tell I am in a "bad space" when I start digging at my scalp. 

  I have been a compulsive scalp picker for as long as I can remember. When I stopped cutting it got significantly worse. The last couple of years I have gotten better. Don't get me wrong I do it several times a day still but I don't dig I just lightly scratch. The only time I dig is when I am very anxious or very angry. So that was happening and also, my patience wears extremely thin and my skin starts crawling, a terrible side affect of anxiety that I have experienced since I was very young. So all in all, this resulted in me hysterically calling my husband and forcing him to come home because I didn't feel safe in my own skin and didn't feel comfortable taking care of Mason while feeling like this. So he came home, I have been able to calm down, feeling better, the end...

So, I decided to make me feel a little better, I would list: 

5 things I am grateful for: 

  1. Being Masons mommy.
  2. Having a wonderful, supportive, understanding husband.
  3. Being physically healthy. 
  4. My knowledge of my mental health issues and skills I have learned and taught to others in order to help myself when in a crisis mode.
  5. Living in the country and the peacefulness and beauty that surrounds me everyday. 
4 things I wish were different:
  1. I wish NY state was more considerate of the mentally ill and did more to assist them. 
  2. I wish I could afford health insurance and medication.
  3. I wish I didn't have to put my husband and family through my mood swings. 
  4. I wish I was more crafty!
3 things I like about myself: 
  1. My smile 
  2. My parenting style 
  3. How I am non-judgmental  
2 things I strive for: 
  1. Daily happiness
  2. Being the best mom and wife I can be
1 picture that always makes me smile: 
Riley's first night with us when we adopted him at 4 months old.
Roxy took him right under her wing.
Love my pups! They are now 4 & 5 years old! Hard to believe :) 

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