It's official! Trying to get my kids ready for school is like waging a full fledged war on time-management! Let me break down this morning's routine as we prepare to breach the castle like some sort of crazed screaming barbarians. And yes, someone will be calling to confirm my reservation at the nut house!
Foremost, my husband and I are awaken by Jake (our youngest) doing a flying elbow drop of doom from the edge of our bed to my husband's chest. Craig (my husband), who at the time I thought had a collapsed lung, starts his day off nicely by yelling at our son about the importance of non-violence. I look over at the clock, 6:15am. Great! The kids have to be at school at 8:30am. So lets do some mom math, that's 2 hrs to get everyone ready and a fashionable 15 mins to get to school. More specifically that's about 2 straight hours of Isabel getting her hair ready for school, an hour for Max to get ready plus an hour for him to finish his homework that he "forgot about", and finally 2 hours of Jake watching cartoons and about 2 mins of getting ready for school. Great, we're already late...
Like pulling a rabbit out of a hat, I somehow manage to make a well-rounded breakfast while Isabel and Max destroy something in the bathroom over a fight about who uses the bathroom too long.
"That sounded expensive! Lord bare me strength!" I remember thinking as I travel the stairs like I'm about to walk in on my parents. "What was that?" as I see what these little wilder-beasts just destroyed. Oh, just the sink facet... There is water spraying straight in the air hitting the ceiling and I am standing in a puddle a top the stairs! I scream for Craig and he quickly shuts the water off.
I grab the hoodlums by the hair and demand they get ready and eat breakfast. Jake on the other hand has not gotten ready at all, of course. Running 15 mins late already, Jake is demanding that he get time to fix his hair. Jake has curly hair as it is. Craig grabs the vacuum cleaner and begins to curl Jake's hair under it. In all that has happened to this family on this day and in the past, I couldn't help but laugh at this point. It was a hilarious sight! Jake was struggling to get this demonic device away from his head while my husband holds it to his head.
Finally, everyone is in the car and we are on our way. Oh, did I mention that the reason why I have to drive them to school is because Max and Jake were kicked off the bus for fighting with each other? Cus, that's kind of important too. I finally drop them off at school and of course honk and blow Isabel a kiss even though she begged to be dropped off a mile from school. Done! Now just 6 hours to myself and I look forward to doing it all over again tomorrow...
This is my morning commute, please feel free to let me know how yours was.
Hallelujah! Holy Shit where's the Tylenol!