I went to pool party about a few months ago and because it was a pool party, I wore my bathing suit, not thinking anything about it. When I arrived, I was the only mom that showed up in one. I became horrified and knew all eyes would be on me, especially since everyone commented on how brave I was when I walked in. Before I could even say hello to the host, I was quickly designated as the pool mom since I was the only one who could actually go in. Thank g-d my husband was there so I avoided the situation. Did I want to go in? YES. Did I go in? NO. Did I think I looked good enough to be seen in a bathing suit? Hell no, but it was hot and a pool party, and I figured all of us women would be brave together. I thought wrong!
No matter what size you are, whether you are overweight or thin, we as women have insecurities. If you don’t, you are the minority and I say, more power to you! I find it so interesting that a part of your body that you may hate could be one that someone else is envious of. I am not shy about telling women they look amazing if I think they really do. Every time I say, “You have such great legs” or “Do you know how many of us would kill for your abs”, it is always the same response back from them. “Oh please, I hate my legs!” or “Really?”. Most women tend to see parts of themselves in a negative way, no matter what anyone says to prove otherwise.
The funny thing is we really don’t care what the men think all that much but do care about what other women are going to say. ”Are they going to think I think I am better than them because I have the guts to wear a bathing suit? Are they going to stare at my cellulite? Are they talking about me? Do I look horrible in this bathing suit?” These are all things that we crazy women think about during swimsuit season. It’s easy to feel like you are being analyzed and all eyes are on you!
I was recently at a pool party and it was no doubt 95 degrees outside. All the kids and dads were splashing and swimming away while the women complained how hot it was. Out of 20 women there, I think only one came in a bathing suit, which remained under her cover up the entire time. Even the hostess wasn’t in a bathing suit until it got dark outside and everyone headed into the hot tub. I didn’t wear a bathing suit because I really didn’t feel like getting wet, and just had my hair done. It just cracks me up to see this repeated behavior every time I go to a pool party.
Just a few days ago my son’s friend had a pool party (lots of pool parties when you live in Florida) to celebrate the end of the school year, and because my two year old would be swimming, I had no other choice than to go in with him. Once again, every other mom, even the host, stayed as far away from the pool as possible. I built up my confidence and hopped right in. It was so hot outside that I was actually happy I was forced to get wet. I believe in the theory that the more you hide something, the more people want to know about it. If you put it out there for everyone to see, there is nothing to wonder about. Soon all the moms were telling me they wished they had brought their bathing suit too.
Why do we care so much what other people think? I am guilty as well and I think the answer is that we don’t want to be judged. The truth is the ones who are the harshest judges are ourselves! I say this summer, we take off our cover ups, stand proud, and then quickly jump in the pool before anyone can grab a glance of our butts. If it’s hot, we swim. Sounds pretty simple, but can we do it? Let’s stop judging others, accept each other for who we are, and get comfortable in our skin. Most importantly, lets stop judging ourselves! If you don’t feel great and pool ready (whatever that means), do something about it. If you do feel good about yourself, others will see that confidence.
We should embrace our bodies, and that includes our flaws. If pregnancy has changed you (and I think that is true for about 99% of us), look at your kids and know it was worth it. We are not twenty somethings anymore. Our husbands love us for who we are, including our stretch marks, veins and saggy boobs. Take pride in your mommy wounds. We have to learn to start loving ourselves!
I guarantee if you are the first one in the pool, others will follow. Be a leader and show other women that it’s okay. I guarantee people will actually be talking more about your confidence and kahunas, rather than the size of your thighs. You are all beautiful women, no matter what your size and shape is. Let’s do this and enjoy our summer carefree.
TOGETHER WE CAN MASTER MOTHERHOOD® and Bathing Suit Season!