Back on the 4th I got something in the mail from Tresa. It had been a hard day taking the kids to the museum by myself, so I was glad to be able to laugh my butt off at what she sent. I love when the Universe (or Tresa) sends me Blogging Gold.

She sent me a copy of an article from Housekeeping Monthly called “The Good Wife’s Guide” from May of 1955. Tresa wrote in a note to me: “I challenge you to write an updated version of this article; I will do the same.”

This is too great to pass up. I’m going to have to make it a two- or three-parter. When you’re done reading mine, go check out Tresa’s version on her blog today. I know I can’t wait.

There are 18 points in the article, so I’ll touch on 6 per day. It’ll be part update, part shocked response. And don’t get me wrong: I respect and honor and love my man. I do all that I can for him, but I don’t WANT to be on Valium like a 50s housewife. I’m pretty sure Aron would prefer a sane WIFE and educated children to a perfect HOUSE and a martini when he walks in the door.

Here we go:

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Make sure you have the number for the pizza delivery place on the fridge. As for “on time for his return” … I never know when that’s going to be. Put his leftovers on a plate so he can heat them up for himself when he arrives home.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Pick at any crusty food that has dried on your sweatpants. Try to fit a shower in sometime this week. “Work-weary” … he gets to go to work every day … I call that a vacation in my world. Hell, at Aron’s work they cater in lunch for those who want to work through it and have a fridge just for beer.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

If he would just read my freaking blogs, maybe he’d see just how interesting I really am. And what kind of “lift” are we talking about here?

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Would that I could. That’s what the kids are for.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Are you kidding me? We’re still homeschooling at 6 p.m. sometimes. I’m supposed to dust EVERY DAY? Could we strike a bargain at every MONTH?

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Okay, most women I know don’t know how to light a dang fire in the grill, let alone in the fireplace. So I say just turn up the thermostat to “sweat.” Where’s MY haven of rest and order? That’s right: the bathroom (where I retreat to after I say I don’t feel good, lock the door, and proceed to somehow read with my hands over my ears). And a fire doesn’t give me a lift; going to see a movie alone does!

More to come tomorrow …

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