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The Grocery Store: Gathering Place for Jackholes


Going to the grocery store is definitely not my idea of a good time.  Sure it's nice when your kids are FINALLY old enough that you don't have to drag them with you every time you need to run out for a loaf of bread.  A few minutes of alone time can do wonders for the sanity.  However, a quick trip to the store can very easily turn the happiest of people into total scrooges.  Because let's face it, no matter what time of the day or night you happen to go, you're destined to run into some a-hole who's completely clueless to the world going on around him.

It never fails that when I'm in a serious hurry (which is unfortunately most of the time), I always seem to end up in the aisle where Mr. and Mrs. Turtle are taking their sweet old time trying to decide which product they may or may not want to buy.  Their cart is parked smack dab in the middle of the walkway (naturally), and they don't seem to have the slightest concern that not even the skinniest of bodies could squeeze around them. Their human barricade leaves me no choice but to back up and WALK ALL THE WAY AROUND THE STORE TO ENTER THE AISLE FROM THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.  Which is not at all annoying or anything.

Then, when I am finally able to race over to the checkout lanes, I inevitably end up in the one where somebody needs a price check that sends the poor cashier away for what seems like ALL OF ETERNITY.  Meanwhile, I'm left standing there juggling all my items which are about to break my arms, since the person ahead of me never thought to put up the divider on the conveyor belt.  And sure enough, this problematic shopper then ends up paying by check, which takes her approximately FIFTEEN YEARS to fill out.

All this "fun" is typically capped off by the lazy bones who couldn't possibly walk five measly feet to the cart return and, instead, abandons his cart DIRECTLY BEHIND MY PARKING SPACE.  But the REAL icing on the cake is when a strong wind then blows said cart RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF MY CAR.  And that's when I march right back into the store, buy another bottle of much-needed vino, and question why the heck I don't use a grocery delivery service….



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